Yesterday was my 2 month Post Op, surgiversary. I have lost a total of 93 lbs. I know that I have lost a lot of weight, but yesterday, I really got to see the difference 2 months has made.
When I started my journey, I made a decision, to chronicle my weight loss, every way that I could. I post blogs, I have a channel on You Tube, and I take pictures. I took a picture on August 26, 2010, which was the night before my surgery. I took a front shot, back shot, and a shot of me turning to the side. On September 27, 2010, my one month Surgiversary, I took the same pictures of myself. Last night, on my two month Surgiversary, I took the same pictures again. In the pictures, I am wearing shorts and no shirt.
For the first time, in a while, I went back and looked at all the pictures I had taken. Let me preface what I am about to say, by this: I know I have lost a lot of weight, and I have seen some changes in myself. Other people have seen the changes, and have made many comments to me about them. The problem is, when I look in the mirror, I still see a 365 pound person looking back at me. Last night, when I looked back at the pictures, I was shocked at what I saw.
In my first picture, I looked horrible. It doesn't even look like me, and frankly, I don't know that person. While looking at it, I was shocked and ashamed that I let myself get that bad. I can't believe that I ever looked that way, and I vowed to never look that way again.
In my second picture, I looked better. I remember when I took that picture, and I thought how great I looked, and I felt that I had come a long way in one month. In all honesty, I had lost a lot of weight at that time. I had lost 60 lbs, at the time.
In yesterday's picture, I looked like a completely different person. I finally noticed the change in my body. I finally saw, what other people had been telling me. It was a major boost to my self esteem. I no longer look at myself as that 365 pound person. I am a completely new person, and I like that. The experience was a real eye opener for me.
I am sure, next month, when I take my picture again, I will look at the one I took yesterday, and see an even bigger change. The changes are just starting. I am liking my new self, and it is keeping me motivated.
Maybe, one day, I will be brave enough to post those pictures. You will just have to stay tuned and see.
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