Looking Back, Celebration, and Success

2010 has been both a sad and triumphant year for me.  It began with the death of my mother.  She passed away on January 16, 2010.  The first part of my year, was the same as every year.  I was a miserable person, and hated myself, so of course nothing changed.

My wife had mentioned weight loss surgery to me many times in the past, and in May I decided to go to a free seminar, and hear about it first hand.  Looking back, I don't know why I agreed to do that.  I guess I wanted my wife to quit nagging me about it, so I went.  I remember the seminar, and my reaction to it.  I thought that WLS was the easy way out, and that I could lose weight by myself. 

I knew going in that my insurance would not pay for the surgery, so I got the price list, and I went home, and my wife and I discussed it.  We went into this, exploring the Lap Band, but after looking at the cost, we noticed that VSG, was only about $500 more than the Lap Band, so we decided that was the surgery for us. 

On August 27, 2010 at 8:30 am, my life changed forever.  Not just physically, but mentally.  I guess you can say, that I had an epiphany.  I realized that I had a second chance at life, and I decided to take full advantage of it.

My journey has been a huge success.  I have lost a lot of weight in a very short period of time.  I changed as a person, over night.  All of this sounds great, but I wasn't fully prepared for what happened to me.  I wasn't prepared for how emotional this journey would be.  I wasn't prepared for how much I would change as a result of this surgery.  Cognitavely I knew I would lose weight going into this, but I didn't know that EVERYTHING else would change right a long with that.  The change was good, and positive.

The biggest change has been that I have self confidence, and self esteem again.  As a result, everything has fallen into place.  I like being out of the house.  I don't like laying around and watching sports all day on the weekends anymore.  I enjoy going to work everyday, and I like changing the way things are done there.  I have fallen in love with my wife, and her and my relationship, is the best it has ever been.  I enjoy spending time with my children, and honestly love hearing about what they have going on in their lives.  I listen to people, and try to understand their point of view on things, and really listen to any advice they give me.  I follow through on every promise that I make.  If I say I am going to do something, you can trust it will get done.  Even if something bad happens, I put a positive spin on it, and try to learn from it.  I get excited about things, and look forward to each new day.  I live day by day, and do not live in the past, and do not live in the future.  I do make plans for the future, but I try not to predict what will happen tomorrow.  I am more out going as a person, and I enjoy meeting new people, and getting to know them.  I put myself out there, and I have seen that nothing but good things have come from it.  That is what I have accomplished this year.  I am FAR from being 100% of what I want to be, but there are some areas that I will work on, to become a better person.

In the beginning, I used to measure my success at this, by how much weight I lost.  I needed that to stay motivated.  Currently, I am only weighing myself once a month, and I have begun measuring my success by the growth I am making as a person.  If I stayed at the weight I am now, I would be happy.  My growth as a person, is the most important thing to me.  That is how I am measuring success.

Each and everyday is a celebration for me.  I celebrate in the mornings, when I put on smaller clothes.  I celebrate at work, when I accomplish a task.  I celebrate when I do something, that I couldn't do before.  This New Year's Eve, my wife and I are going to host a New Year's Eve Party.  The theme will be CELEBRATE!  We want to share our success with our close friends and family.  We will be sharing something that has been private, with other people.  I am looking forward to this!!