My Life Has COMPLETELY Changed

I am 11 weeks Post Op.  I have lost 104 pounds.  Not only has my appearance, drastically changed, but EVERYTHING about me has changed.

There is a song that says: "It's so lonely, when you don't even know yourself."  That is very true.  I lived a very lonely life 11 weeks ago.  I didn't have any friends, and I always wondered why.  I thought that I was a good friend, and fun to be around.  Looking back on it, I was a miserable, depressed person, and no wonder, no one wanted to be around me.  I was quiet, never spoke my mind, and was a major downer.  I have gotten to know myself, and the person I am, today is 100% better than where I was a short time ago.    I am not 100% where I want to be yet, but I am getting there.

I have a zest for life now.  I enjoy waking up, and I am always ready to take on the day.  When I wake up, I look at my calendar and see what I have planned for the day.  I plan my day accordingly.  I am a morning person, and I get more done, before 7:00 am, then most people get done all day.  I have learned, that I love waking up.

I am an outgoing person, and I strike up conversations, with most anyone.  It is mostly chit chat, and I find that, it is fun to get to know people, and really listen to what they have to say.  I didn't used to do that.  I was never shy, but I was mostly, introverted.  I have really come out of my shell.

My wife says that I am full of confidence, and you can tell that when you speak to me.  She says I am not 100%, but you can tell that I am excited, about what I am talking about, and my confidence shows.  I was never that way in my life.

I enjoy meeting new people, and I love being in a situation, where I can talk to people.  I really like meeting people that have been through Bariatric Surgery, or are considering doing it.  It is my favorite thing  to talk about.  I can talk until I am blue in the face to someone, and explain things to people that have not had surgery, BUT NO ONE truly understands, unless they have been through it.  I like to surround myself with those people, because, firstly, they keep me on track.  Talking with them and hearing their experience, really helps, and motivates me.  Secondly, you never know when you will be in a situation, and they will know the answer.  Thirdly, for the most part, they are good people, and you have something, major, in common with them.  It is sort of like having an army buddy.  You were in the trenches with that person, and only they understand certain things.

I have a truly positive attitude.  I am enthusiastic about EVERYTHING I have going on.  I have noticed that my enthusiasm, and zest for life, is beginning to rub off on people around me.  They are coming at me, with the same energy, that I have.  They are starting to realize that this is who I am, and I am not changing.

I guess it is true:  For the most part, you really do get back, what you put out there.

Finally did it

I am 11 weeks Post Op tomorrow, and I have lost 104 pounds!!!!!  I am SO excited.  I feel so much better.  Last week, I was upset, because I had only lost 4 pounds.  This week I was so excited to see I broke the Century Mark.

I want to be honest about something for a second.  When I was bigger, I let a lot of things go in my life.  Hell, I let EVERYTHING go.  I lost a step, I lost my self confidence, I lost my self esteem, I was a miserable person, and I made everyone around me miserable.  I never wanted to leave the house, even to go to work.  I was on the brink of divorce, and was just in  a bad situation.

I am not in touch with the person I was 11 weeks ago.  I don't even know that person anymore.  I am completely different.  I wake up in the morning, and I am excited to take on the day.  I don't want to lay around the house anymore, and sleep.  I have more confidence, and a higher self esteem, then I have EVER had in my life.  My relationship my wife, my kids, my co workers, and friends, has improved 100%.  When not busy, I find things to keep myself busy.  I am excited about my life now.

Because of this BIG change in myself, in such a short time, people are waiting for the other shoe to drop.  I have a new philosophy, that I have instituted.  Today, I am going to be the best person I can be.  I can't change what happened yesterday, and I can't predict what will happen tomorrow.  Today, is the only thing that is real to me.  As long as I handle what is going on today, I am fine.  Of course, I have goals, and what I do is concentrate on achieving those goals, or moving closer to them today.  That has worked for me.

I have noticed that my new attitude is infectious.  People around me, are starting to keep up with me.  They are, becoming more and more, like me.  I am excited about this new attitude, and for today, it is energizing me!!!!

Misconceptions, and Myths

I am open and honest to everyone about my surgery.  I tell everyone that asks, how I lost my weight.  I am proud of it, and it is a big part of my life.  In doing that, I have run into, a lot of ignorance about Bariatric Surgery.

Some people have told me, that I have taken the easy way out, and all I had to do was quit eating so much and exercise.  First of all, obesity is a disease.  A person, is genetically, predisposed to that disease.  It is like an alcholic.  There is no cure for obesity.  I have struggled with it my whole life, and I will struggle with it the rest of my life. 

Secondly, I can gain weight back, if I don't watch what I am doing, and I don't follow the rules.  There are many people, that I have encountered, that have had WLS, and they have gained their weight back after a few years.  Those are the people, that did not follow the rules.  It is possible, for your pouch to stretch, and you will be able to eat more and more food.  In short, you can't suck down cheeseburgers, and fries, and expect to maintain your weight.  It just won't happen.

Part of my new lifestyle, is stopping bad habits.  Although I am not hungry, I still crave food that is bad for me.  I must fight the urge to eat bad foods.  Now this has gotten better over time, but it is still there.  I have to eat until I feel something, and stop.  I can still stuff myself, if I choose, but I choose not to.  I have to exercise, everyday.  In short, this is no day at the beach, and I have to work at it.  I just wish people would understand that.

Finally Starting to Notice

Yesterday was my 2 month Post Op, surgiversary.  I have lost a total of 93 lbs.  I know that I have lost a lot of weight, but yesterday, I really got to see the difference 2 months has made.

When I started my journey, I made a decision, to chronicle my weight loss, every way that I could.  I post blogs, I have a channel on You Tube, and I take pictures.  I took a picture on August 26, 2010, which was the night before my surgery.  I took a front shot, back shot, and a shot of me turning to the side.  On September 27, 2010, my one month Surgiversary, I took the same pictures of myself.  Last night, on my two month Surgiversary, I took the same pictures again.  In the pictures, I am wearing shorts and no shirt.

For the first time, in a while, I went back and looked at all the pictures I had taken.  Let me preface what I am about to say, by this: I know I have lost a lot of weight, and I have seen some changes in myself.  Other people have seen the changes, and have made many comments to me about them.  The problem is, when I look in the mirror, I still see a 365 pound person looking back at me.  Last night, when I looked back at the pictures, I was shocked at what I saw.

In my first picture, I looked horrible.  It doesn't even look like me, and frankly, I don't know that person.  While looking at it, I was shocked and ashamed that I let myself get that bad.  I can't believe that I ever looked that way, and I vowed to never look that way again.

In my second picture, I looked better.  I remember when I took that picture, and I thought how great I looked, and I felt that I had come a long way in one month.  In all honesty, I had lost a lot of weight at that time.  I had lost 60 lbs, at the time.

In yesterday's picture, I looked like a completely different person.  I finally noticed the change in my body.  I finally saw, what other people had been telling me.  It was a major boost to my self esteem.  I no longer look at myself as that 365 pound person.  I am a completely new person, and I like that.  The experience was a real eye opener for me.

I am sure, next month, when I take my picture again, I will look at the one I took yesterday, and see an even bigger change.  The changes are just starting.  I am liking my new self, and it is keeping me motivated.

Maybe, one day, I will be brave enough to post those pictures.  You will just have to stay tuned and see.

So close

I normally only weigh myself once a week. I do that, because, weight fluctuates so much from day to day. Today I weighed myself, and I weighed 272. I have lost 93 lbs in 8 weeks, 3 days. I really want to have lost 100 lbs by Friday, as that will be my 9 week surgiversary. Let's see if I can do it.

First 5k

Today, my family and I, walked our first 5K.  I could have never done that eight weeks ago.  We finished in about 30 mins.  It was the Walk From Obesity.  I am hoping to participate in more 5Ks in the coming year.

I am down 85 lbs.  I feel great, and I have a ton of energy.  I can't believe that I suffered so many years, being overweight.  I wish I would of had VSG, sooner.  I am enjoying everything that I can do now.  I am able to walk, without getting out of breath or my back hurting, I am able to go to the gym, and workout, 5 days a week, my attitude has changed dramatically, and the people close to me, have commented, and I am just enjoying life.  It is funny that, all of this was due to my weight loss.

Six Weeks Today

I started my journey, before the liquid diet, weighing 365 lbs.  On August 27, 2010, my surgery date, I weighed 342 lbs.  Today, which is my six week surgiversary I am 288 lbs.  I have lost a total of 77 lbs in six weeks.  I feel awesome.  I have a ton of energy, and I have noticed that my self confidence has come back.  My wife has told me that I am like a complete different person.

I have noticed that I am more social with people, and I have no problem striking up a conversation.  When I was heavier, I would hide in the house, and did not want to go out.  I have noticed that I enjoy being out more.  Wednesday, was walk your child to school day.  Brenden's school is about 1 1/2 miles away from our house.  I had no problem walking him there.  My wife said, before, it seemed like I was depressed all the time, and she has noticed a drastic change in my mood.

Wednesday was my one month (actually 5 1/2 weeks) appointment with the doctor.  I told him, that I was not complaining, but I thought I was losing weight too fast.  He said that I am in the upper 1% of patients, with my weight loss, but that I was doing everything right, and there was nothing to be concerned about.

All of this is great.  My recovery was awesome.  The doctor said I did not have a normal recovery.  I had surgery on a Friday, and felt like I could go to work on Monday.  I did not have to use any pain medication.  On top of that, my results have been fantastic, and I do not regret having surgery at all.  In fact, I wish I would have done it sooner.

However, the other shoe has fallen.  On September 14, 2010, my wife, Belsis, also had the same surgery I had.  Her recovery has been completely different from mine.

When Belsis was in the hospital, she had extreme gas pain.  I had it as well, as it is normal, but I got rid of mine through walking.  She, on the other hand, did not get rid of it in the hospital.  When she got home, she was in bed for a few days, and just felt awful.  As the days progressed, she would have a constant pain in her pouch (what used to be her stomach) and it would get worse when she ate.  In fact, she said she felt like she was going to die from the pain from eating.  She was not getting very much liquid down, on top of eating, little or nothing.  I finally convinced her to contact the surgeon's office, and tell them what was going on.  She contacted them, and they told her to go back to the liquid diet, and if she could not get 60 ozs of liquid down, that she would have to go to the Hospital and get an IV.

That following day, she tried everything that she could to get liquid down.  Although she did not get down 60 ozs, she said she wanted to hold off on going to the hospital, because her two week follow up, was in a few days.  I went with her to the follow up.

The doctor was concerned, and told her that she either had an ulcer, or a stricture.  A stricture, happens when the surgeon makes the opening to the pouch too small.  The doctor said that if it was an ulcer, then it would go away by itself.  He said that if it was not an ulcer, then they would have to put a camera down her throat, and go into her stomach, to figure out what was going on.  He gave her a prescription for a medicine, that coats your stomach, and if the problem was an ulcer, the medicine would take care of it.  He told her that if it did not get better, then she would have to call the office back in two weeks.  Problem is, that it never got any better.  I was concerned, because she was not getting down any food, was not taking protein, and still was not getting down much fluid.  She was basically living on broth.
When I had my follow up appointment, I explained all of this to the doctor, and he told me to have her call the office ASAP.  He also said that less than 2% of his patients, have ever had this problem.

She called the office, and spoke to a nurse.  The nurse told her that she had to go to the Emergency Room, and get an IV ASAP.  She also told her that, after they stabilized her, they would put the camera down her throat and figure out what was wrong.  They told her she could be in the hospital for up to 3 days.

She left for the hospital last night.  I haven't heard much from her, but the last thing I heard was that they ran tests on her, and she was very low in potassium.  They gave her an IV, and contacted the doctor that preformed the surgery, and told him that she was there.  The doctor, sent the hospital admission orders and that was the last I heard.

I haven't slept much tonight, and I am very worried about her.  She said that her biggest fear was being stuck this way for the rest of her life.  I know that can't be the case, and something has to be wrong.  Her mom is with her, and I am home taking care of the boys.  I wish I was there, and making sure she was getting the proper care.

All of this has frustrated Belsis.  She saw the easy recovery that I had, and how well I am doing, and she wants to be where I am.  She sees the boys and I eat, and she wants to eat as well.  This has been going on for almost a month now, and I just want my wife back.