Well, my first Thanksgiving Post Op, was yesterday. I won't say that I was nervous, about the day going in, but I will say I was a bit worried. Thanksgiving is an obese person's dream. You eat all day, take a nap, sit around and watch football, and eat some more. The average Thanksgiving meal is 2,000 calories. This was, also, my first Thanksgiving without my mother. We went to her house, each Thanksgiving, and ate and ate. We would then bring leftovers home and eat some more. Thanksgiving, is also, my favorite holiday. So I had somethings working against me.
Because of all of this, I decided to have a theme for my Thanksgiving this year. I called it: New Traditions. Because of our surgery, we could no longer make the day about the meal. Instead, I wanted to make it about being with family and friends. We invited, my inlaws, my sister, and my friend that had the same exact surgery as I had, on the same exact day. He and I are surgery twins, and have gotten really close because of that. I told everyone to come over at 9:00 am, and we would cook together, and watch the parade, and catch up. I really needed this, for myself. I told everyone, how imporant this was to me.
Well 9:00 am came, and no one was here. My wife, and kids, were running around, getting ready, and I was stuck watching the parade, which I don't really like, by myself. It got to be 10:00 am and I was all alone, and I started to get a little depressed. I had told everyone, how imporant this was to me, and it seemed like no one cared. I got up, and went to my room, and laid down for a nap. I had given up on the day, and I was very frustrated, and just thought that no one cared about what I was trying to do. My wife, and kids sensed that there was something wrong, and each kid came in the room, and asked me to come back down stairs. I told them I was napping. I had just given up.
While, I was in my room, my friend called, and said he had over slept, and would be over by 11:00 am. My sister called, and said she would be late. My inlaws, were late as well. I woke up at about 10:45, and came back down stairs. I was in a bad mood, but I knew I had to get dinner done. So, I went into the kitchen, and started getting ready to make the stuffing. My wife came in, and asked to help. I was short with her, and didn't want to talk. I began making the stuffing, and she told me to snap out of it. As I was making the rest of the food, I decided, that, obviously, the day was not supposed to go the way I planned, so, I just rolled with the punches.
Finally, my inlaws, were the first to arrive. They came at about 11:10 am or so. So I began to get a little festive, and my mood started to improve. I got a text from my sister at 11:35 that said she was leaving her house. I got a call from my friend, and he said he was on his way, but was lost. So I directed him to the house. He got here at about 11:45, and my mood immediately got better. I introduced him around, and we sat and chatted for a bit. Finally, my sister arrived, and we were all ready to eat, and enjoy the day.
Normally, we would spend $250.00 on our big meal for the year. This year, we spent $35.00. We bought the smallest turkey, we bought some stuffing, mashed potatoes, and some green beans. I made, about 1/3 of what I would normally make for our dinner. We stayed away, from buying things like pie, and mac & cheese, which is a family tradition. So we made our plates, and I put very little food on it. I put a small piece of turkey, half a spoonful of stuffing, and a spoonful of mashed potatoes. My wife, did the same. This was the first time I had seen my friend eat, and I was a bit shocked, by how much food he served himself. I thought in the back of my mind, that there was no way he would finish his plate. He made a comment, about how little food, my wife and I served ourselves. Then he was shocked, when I said I wouldn't be able to finish it.
So we sat around, and ate our dinner. We chatted about what was going on, and how our lives have changed this year. How this was the best year of our lives. It takes me a long time to eat, about 20 mins or so, so we chatted about everything under the sun. I didn't finish what was on my plate, and I remained at the table talking with my friend, and my wife. I was a little shocked, that my friend finished his plate, and that he ate a lot quicker than I did. I learned something a long time ago. When someone has this surgery, it is their journey, and not mine. Everyone is different, and just because I do something, doesn't mean that everyone else, can or will do it. For me, I only eat until I feel something in my pouch, and then I stop. I never get the feeling of being full, because I don't like that feeling, and I am afraid that I will stretch my pouch. The doctor said that, that is what you are supposed to do, so that is what I do.
I left the table, and sat down to watch some football. I didn't really watch the game, which is odd for me, I was more interested in the conversation that was going on around me. I chatted with my sister, about what was going on in her life. She has not had the same great year that I have had, but all in all, her year could of been worse. I chatted with my friend about his life, and I was really enjoying our conversation. My wife came in, and joined us, and we all talked and talked. I couldn't tell you what the final score of the game was, because I was so engaged in what was going on around me.
My wife, said that I was boring everyone with football, so instead of watching the second game, we watched Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. I had only seen bits and pieces of that movies, so I was game for that. I was afraid, that when the movie came on, that we would be focused on that and not have any conversation.
During the movie, my friend fell asleep, and my wife talked with her parents. Her parents, do not speak a lot of English, so she was translating the movie to them. Towards the end of the movie, my friend woke up, and decided to leave. We gave him some leftovers to take home, and I walked him out. I came back in, and finished the movie. After the movie was over, we all sat down, for dinner. We ate, and then, my wife and her mom cleaned up. My inlaws left around 7:30 pm or so, and my wife and I watch a little TV and I went to bed.
Although, my day did not start as planned, we accomplished what we set out to do. We made the day about spending time with our family, and not the meal. Food did not dominate the day. I didn't eat myself silly, or take a nap. All in all a good day, and the start of a new tradition.
I was excited for Thanksgiving weekend, for many reasons. Firstly, Thanksgiving itsself, and also, my wife and I are leaving today to spend the three day weekend ALL BY OURSELVES!!! We have not spent a weekend alone, in over 4 years. we really need this time, to rejuvinate our relationship.
Before surgery, my wife and my relationship was awful. Had we done nothing about it, we would probably be on the verge of divorce right now. Because of our weight, and our laziness, we had fallen out of love with each other, and were together out of habit. We always loved each other, mind you, but the spark was gone, and we spent a majority of our time, making promises to each other, that were never kept, and fighting.
Since our surgery, we have completely changed as people. We make promises, and keep them. We keep each other on track, and I have fallen back in love with my wife. I look forward to coming home each day, and most of the time, we don't watch TV, anymore, we sit and chat about things. We do not bring up the past, that is a rule. We talk about what is currently going on, and give each other advice on how to make things better in our lives. This is fresh start with our weight loss and our lives. I am veiwing this as a fresh start to our relationship as well. I have been with my wife for 15 years, and, today, I feel like a 15 year old boy when I am with her.
I am really looking forward to this weekend!!!
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