Six Month Surgiversary

Let me tell you.  This last six months has been one hell of a ride.  I can't believe that it has been six months since my surgery.  I have lost 157 lbs.  I am 213 right now.  I feel amazing!  I have never felt this way in my life.  Not to mention the changes I have had.  I am a social, active person.  I always thought I was introverted, and a loner.  Nope, I am social, and enjoy people.  I have said it before, the weight loss is such a great side effect.  It is everything else that I have experienced on my journey that is important.  My weekends are jammed packed with events, and I like it that way.  Let me tell you, if you are considering surgery, I am here to tell you, it will change your life!!!

5 Months Post Op Today

I am feeling awesome today!  I have lost 140 lbs, and weigh 225 lbs.  I am taking my weight every other week or so, and I am excited about the number today!

The good thing is that the weight loss has slowed down.  The frustrating thing, is that the weight loss has slowed down.  What really bugs me is when I talk to someone that has had surgery, and they learn about my numbers in such a short time, and I tell them some of the problems I am having, and they say "you don't have anything to complain about."  Truly I don't, but let me try to explain something, everything I have gone through, and everything I have experienced in 5 months with changes in myself and body, is something that someone goes through at 1 - 1 1/2 years post op.  I was on hyper drive, and I don't know if I was mentally prepared for what happened to me in a short period of time.  Not that I am complaining, but it is just a fact. 

I think I have handled things the best way I know how.  Sure I may have made some mistakes, but I have learned from them and gone on with my life.  People are getting used to the new me, and seems that this whole thing is sticking.  That is the exciting part!  I am truly a new person.  Inside and out. 

So if you see me, or meet me, just keep in mind what I have been through, and yes it wasn't all good, but the end justified the means.

Looking Back, Celebration, and Success

2010 has been both a sad and triumphant year for me.  It began with the death of my mother.  She passed away on January 16, 2010.  The first part of my year, was the same as every year.  I was a miserable person, and hated myself, so of course nothing changed.

My wife had mentioned weight loss surgery to me many times in the past, and in May I decided to go to a free seminar, and hear about it first hand.  Looking back, I don't know why I agreed to do that.  I guess I wanted my wife to quit nagging me about it, so I went.  I remember the seminar, and my reaction to it.  I thought that WLS was the easy way out, and that I could lose weight by myself. 

I knew going in that my insurance would not pay for the surgery, so I got the price list, and I went home, and my wife and I discussed it.  We went into this, exploring the Lap Band, but after looking at the cost, we noticed that VSG, was only about $500 more than the Lap Band, so we decided that was the surgery for us. 

On August 27, 2010 at 8:30 am, my life changed forever.  Not just physically, but mentally.  I guess you can say, that I had an epiphany.  I realized that I had a second chance at life, and I decided to take full advantage of it.

My journey has been a huge success.  I have lost a lot of weight in a very short period of time.  I changed as a person, over night.  All of this sounds great, but I wasn't fully prepared for what happened to me.  I wasn't prepared for how emotional this journey would be.  I wasn't prepared for how much I would change as a result of this surgery.  Cognitavely I knew I would lose weight going into this, but I didn't know that EVERYTHING else would change right a long with that.  The change was good, and positive.

The biggest change has been that I have self confidence, and self esteem again.  As a result, everything has fallen into place.  I like being out of the house.  I don't like laying around and watching sports all day on the weekends anymore.  I enjoy going to work everyday, and I like changing the way things are done there.  I have fallen in love with my wife, and her and my relationship, is the best it has ever been.  I enjoy spending time with my children, and honestly love hearing about what they have going on in their lives.  I listen to people, and try to understand their point of view on things, and really listen to any advice they give me.  I follow through on every promise that I make.  If I say I am going to do something, you can trust it will get done.  Even if something bad happens, I put a positive spin on it, and try to learn from it.  I get excited about things, and look forward to each new day.  I live day by day, and do not live in the past, and do not live in the future.  I do make plans for the future, but I try not to predict what will happen tomorrow.  I am more out going as a person, and I enjoy meeting new people, and getting to know them.  I put myself out there, and I have seen that nothing but good things have come from it.  That is what I have accomplished this year.  I am FAR from being 100% of what I want to be, but there are some areas that I will work on, to become a better person.

In the beginning, I used to measure my success at this, by how much weight I lost.  I needed that to stay motivated.  Currently, I am only weighing myself once a month, and I have begun measuring my success by the growth I am making as a person.  If I stayed at the weight I am now, I would be happy.  My growth as a person, is the most important thing to me.  That is how I am measuring success.

Each and everyday is a celebration for me.  I celebrate in the mornings, when I put on smaller clothes.  I celebrate at work, when I accomplish a task.  I celebrate when I do something, that I couldn't do before.  This New Year's Eve, my wife and I are going to host a New Year's Eve Party.  The theme will be CELEBRATE!  We want to share our success with our close friends and family.  We will be sharing something that has been private, with other people.  I am looking forward to this!!

Bucky

I have named my pouch.  His name is Bucky.  Over the past few months, I have learned what Bucky likes, and dislikes.  For the most part, Bucky is not picky.  But there are somethings that Bucky hates. 

Bucky hates popcorn.  It hurts to eat that.  Funny, because before I used to love popcorn.  I can't smell popcorn, without having to have some, but it makes Bucky angry.  Bucky, doesn't like plain white rice.  That is a good thing, because he is not suppose to have white rice.  He does like jasmine rice though.  Bucky does not like chewy bacon.  When Bucky has bacon, it has to be extra crispy, almost burnt.  Sometimes Bucky does not like steak.  It all depends on how tough the steak is. 

Bucky likes Indian Food.  Especially Nan sopped with sauce.  Bucky likes whole wheat pasta.  Especially the Barilla, infused with extra protein.  Bucky likes sausage.  Every kind of sausage.  Bucky likes taco night, and all mexican food.

I am still getting used to Bucky, but all in all, Bucky is very happy, and I am very happy to have Bucky

Last Weekend

Well it finally happened!  Last weekend I needed some new pajama pants.  So, I went to Old Navy.  I haven't been able to shop in a normal store for about 7 years.  I picked a pair of XL pajama pants.  I went to the dressing room to try them on.  I sat in the room for a long time looking at the pants, and thinking they would never fit me.  Finally, I tried them on, and they fit, and even had extra room.  That felt really good!

New Milestone

Yesterday, I went to Old Navy to get some pajama pants.  This may sound weird, but I didn't actually think I was going to get any, I just went there because my mom had gotten me some pajama pants there a bunch of years back.  I found the pants, and I looked at them closely.  I didn't know what size I was, so I grabbed a pair of XL pants.  I held them up and looked them over.  They looked so small.  I took them to the dressing room and tried them on.  I was in the room by myself for a long time looking at them.  Finally, I took the dive, and tried them on.  Not only did they fit, but there was PLENTY of extra room. I sat down, and got emotional.  You know, I really didn't expect to get that way, it just happened.

I got dressed and left the room.  My wife saw me and asked did they fit?  I was so emotional, that I handed them to her and said, what do you think?  In the end, I decided not to buy them, because they were $17.50, and I couldn't justify spending so much on something that wasn't going to last.  So I realized that I was a small size, and I also realized that I will get smaller.  It was a good day

First Thanksgiving Post Op and Other Stuff

Well, my first Thanksgiving Post Op, was yesterday.  I won't say that I was nervous, about the day going in, but I will say I was a bit worried.  Thanksgiving is an obese person's dream.  You eat all day, take a nap, sit around and watch football, and eat some more.  The average Thanksgiving meal is 2,000 calories.  This was, also, my first Thanksgiving without my mother.  We went to her house, each Thanksgiving, and ate and ate.  We would then bring leftovers home and eat some more.  Thanksgiving, is also, my favorite holiday.  So I had somethings working against me.

Because of all of this, I decided to have a theme for my Thanksgiving this year.  I called it: New Traditions.  Because of our surgery, we could no longer make the day about the meal.  Instead, I wanted to make it about being with family and friends.  We invited, my inlaws, my sister, and my friend that had the same exact surgery as I had, on the same exact day.  He and I are surgery twins, and have gotten really close because of that.  I told everyone to come over at 9:00 am, and we would cook together, and watch the parade, and catch up.  I really needed this, for myself.  I told everyone, how imporant this was to me.

Well 9:00 am came, and no one was here.  My wife, and kids, were running around, getting ready, and I was stuck watching the parade, which I don't really like, by myself.  It got to be 10:00 am and I was all alone, and I started to get a little depressed.  I had told everyone, how imporant this was to me, and it seemed like no one cared.  I got up, and went to my room, and laid down for a nap.  I had given up on the day, and I was very frustrated, and just thought that no one cared about what I was trying to do.  My wife, and kids sensed that there was something wrong, and each kid came in the room, and asked me to come back down stairs.  I told them I was napping.  I had just given up. 

While, I was in my room, my friend called, and said he had over slept, and would be over by 11:00 am.  My sister called, and said she would be late.  My inlaws, were late as well.  I woke up at about 10:45, and came back down stairs.  I was in a bad mood, but I knew I had to get dinner done.  So, I went into the kitchen, and started getting ready to make the stuffing.  My wife came in, and asked to help.  I was short with her, and didn't want to talk.  I began making the stuffing, and she told me to snap out of it.  As I was making the rest of the food, I decided, that, obviously, the day was not supposed to go the way I planned, so, I just rolled with the punches.

Finally, my inlaws, were the first to arrive.  They came at about 11:10 am or so.  So I began to get a little festive, and my mood started to improve.  I got a text from my sister at 11:35 that said she was leaving her house.  I got a call from my friend, and he said he was on his way, but was lost.  So I directed him to the house.  He got here at about 11:45, and my mood immediately got better.  I introduced him around, and we sat and chatted for a bit.  Finally, my sister arrived, and we were all ready to eat, and enjoy the day.

Normally, we would spend $250.00 on our big meal for the year.  This year, we spent $35.00.  We bought the smallest turkey, we bought some stuffing, mashed potatoes, and some green beans.  I made, about 1/3 of what I would normally make for our dinner.  We stayed away, from buying things like pie, and mac & cheese, which is a family tradition.  So we made our plates, and I put very little food on it.  I put a small piece of turkey, half a spoonful of stuffing, and a spoonful of mashed potatoes.  My wife, did the same.  This was the first time I had seen my friend eat, and I was a bit shocked, by how much food he served himself.  I thought in the back of my mind, that there was no way he would finish his plate.  He made a comment, about how little food, my wife and I served ourselves.  Then he was shocked, when I said I wouldn't be able to finish it. 

So we sat around, and ate our dinner.  We chatted about what was going on, and how our lives have changed this year.  How this was the best year of our lives.  It takes me a long time to eat, about 20 mins or so, so we chatted about everything under the sun.  I didn't finish what was on my plate, and I remained at the table talking with my friend, and my wife.  I was a little shocked, that my friend finished his plate, and that he ate a lot quicker than I did.  I learned something a long time ago.  When someone has this surgery, it is their journey, and not mine.  Everyone is different, and just because I do something, doesn't mean that everyone else, can or will do it.  For me, I only eat until I feel something in my pouch, and then I stop.  I never get the feeling of being full, because I don't like that feeling, and I am afraid that I will stretch my pouch.  The doctor said that, that is what you are supposed to do, so that is what I do. 

I left the table, and sat down to watch some football.  I didn't really watch the game, which is odd for me, I was more interested in the conversation that was going on around me.  I chatted with my sister, about what was going on in her life.  She has not had the same great year that I have had, but all in all, her year could of been worse.  I chatted with my friend about his life, and I was really enjoying our conversation.  My wife came in, and joined us, and we all talked and talked.  I couldn't tell you what the final score of the game was, because I was so engaged in what was going on around me.

My wife, said that I was boring everyone with football, so instead of watching the second game, we watched Planes, Trains, and Automobiles.  I had only seen bits and pieces of that movies, so I was game for that.  I was afraid, that when the movie came on, that we would be focused on that and not have any conversation. 

During the movie, my friend fell asleep, and my wife talked with her parents.  Her parents, do not speak a lot of English, so she was translating the movie to them.  Towards the end of the movie, my friend woke up, and decided to leave.  We gave him some leftovers to take home, and I walked him out.  I came back in, and finished the movie.  After the movie was over, we all sat down, for dinner.  We ate, and then, my wife and her mom cleaned up.  My inlaws left around 7:30 pm or so, and my wife and I watch a little TV and I went to bed. 

Although, my day did not start as planned, we accomplished what we set out to do.  We made the day about spending time with our family, and not the meal.  Food did not dominate the day.  I didn't eat myself silly, or take a nap.  All in all a good day, and the start of a new tradition.

I was excited for Thanksgiving weekend, for many reasons.  Firstly, Thanksgiving itsself, and also, my wife and I are leaving today to spend the three day weekend ALL BY OURSELVES!!!  We have not spent a weekend alone, in over 4 years.  we really need this time, to rejuvinate our relationship.

Before surgery, my wife and my relationship was awful.  Had we done nothing about it, we would probably be on the verge of divorce right now.  Because of our weight, and our laziness, we had fallen out of love with each other, and were together out of habit.  We always loved each other, mind you, but the spark was gone, and we spent a majority of our time, making promises to each other, that were never kept, and fighting.

Since our surgery, we have completely changed as people.  We make promises, and keep them.  We keep each other on track, and I have fallen back in love with my wife.  I look forward to coming home each day, and most of the time, we don't watch TV, anymore, we sit and chat about things.  We do not bring up the past, that is a rule.  We talk about what is currently going on, and give each other advice on how to make things better in our lives.  This is fresh start with our weight loss and our lives.  I am veiwing this as a fresh start to our relationship as well.  I have been with my wife for 15 years, and, today, I feel like a 15 year old boy when I am with her.

I am really looking forward to this weekend!!!