2010 has been both a sad and triumphant year for me. It began with the death of my mother. She passed away on January 16, 2010. The first part of my year, was the same as every year. I was a miserable person, and hated myself, so of course nothing changed.
My wife had mentioned weight loss surgery to me many times in the past, and in May I decided to go to a free seminar, and hear about it first hand. Looking back, I don't know why I agreed to do that. I guess I wanted my wife to quit nagging me about it, so I went. I remember the seminar, and my reaction to it. I thought that WLS was the easy way out, and that I could lose weight by myself.
I knew going in that my insurance would not pay for the surgery, so I got the price list, and I went home, and my wife and I discussed it. We went into this, exploring the Lap Band, but after looking at the cost, we noticed that VSG, was only about $500 more than the Lap Band, so we decided that was the surgery for us.
On August 27, 2010 at 8:30 am, my life changed forever. Not just physically, but mentally. I guess you can say, that I had an epiphany. I realized that I had a second chance at life, and I decided to take full advantage of it.
My journey has been a huge success. I have lost a lot of weight in a very short period of time. I changed as a person, over night. All of this sounds great, but I wasn't fully prepared for what happened to me. I wasn't prepared for how emotional this journey would be. I wasn't prepared for how much I would change as a result of this surgery. Cognitavely I knew I would lose weight going into this, but I didn't know that EVERYTHING else would change right a long with that. The change was good, and positive.
The biggest change has been that I have self confidence, and self esteem again. As a result, everything has fallen into place. I like being out of the house. I don't like laying around and watching sports all day on the weekends anymore. I enjoy going to work everyday, and I like changing the way things are done there. I have fallen in love with my wife, and her and my relationship, is the best it has ever been. I enjoy spending time with my children, and honestly love hearing about what they have going on in their lives. I listen to people, and try to understand their point of view on things, and really listen to any advice they give me. I follow through on every promise that I make. If I say I am going to do something, you can trust it will get done. Even if something bad happens, I put a positive spin on it, and try to learn from it. I get excited about things, and look forward to each new day. I live day by day, and do not live in the past, and do not live in the future. I do make plans for the future, but I try not to predict what will happen tomorrow. I am more out going as a person, and I enjoy meeting new people, and getting to know them. I put myself out there, and I have seen that nothing but good things have come from it. That is what I have accomplished this year. I am FAR from being 100% of what I want to be, but there are some areas that I will work on, to become a better person.
In the beginning, I used to measure my success at this, by how much weight I lost. I needed that to stay motivated. Currently, I am only weighing myself once a month, and I have begun measuring my success by the growth I am making as a person. If I stayed at the weight I am now, I would be happy. My growth as a person, is the most important thing to me. That is how I am measuring success.
Each and everyday is a celebration for me. I celebrate in the mornings, when I put on smaller clothes. I celebrate at work, when I accomplish a task. I celebrate when I do something, that I couldn't do before. This New Year's Eve, my wife and I are going to host a New Year's Eve Party. The theme will be CELEBRATE! We want to share our success with our close friends and family. We will be sharing something that has been private, with other people. I am looking forward to this!!
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Bucky
I have named my pouch. His name is Bucky. Over the past few months, I have learned what Bucky likes, and dislikes. For the most part, Bucky is not picky. But there are somethings that Bucky hates.
Bucky hates popcorn. It hurts to eat that. Funny, because before I used to love popcorn. I can't smell popcorn, without having to have some, but it makes Bucky angry. Bucky, doesn't like plain white rice. That is a good thing, because he is not suppose to have white rice. He does like jasmine rice though. Bucky does not like chewy bacon. When Bucky has bacon, it has to be extra crispy, almost burnt. Sometimes Bucky does not like steak. It all depends on how tough the steak is.
Bucky likes Indian Food. Especially Nan sopped with sauce. Bucky likes whole wheat pasta. Especially the Barilla, infused with extra protein. Bucky likes sausage. Every kind of sausage. Bucky likes taco night, and all mexican food.
I am still getting used to Bucky, but all in all, Bucky is very happy, and I am very happy to have Bucky
Bucky hates popcorn. It hurts to eat that. Funny, because before I used to love popcorn. I can't smell popcorn, without having to have some, but it makes Bucky angry. Bucky, doesn't like plain white rice. That is a good thing, because he is not suppose to have white rice. He does like jasmine rice though. Bucky does not like chewy bacon. When Bucky has bacon, it has to be extra crispy, almost burnt. Sometimes Bucky does not like steak. It all depends on how tough the steak is.
Bucky likes Indian Food. Especially Nan sopped with sauce. Bucky likes whole wheat pasta. Especially the Barilla, infused with extra protein. Bucky likes sausage. Every kind of sausage. Bucky likes taco night, and all mexican food.
I am still getting used to Bucky, but all in all, Bucky is very happy, and I am very happy to have Bucky
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Last Weekend
Well it finally happened! Last weekend I needed some new pajama pants. So, I went to Old Navy. I haven't been able to shop in a normal store for about 7 years. I picked a pair of XL pajama pants. I went to the dressing room to try them on. I sat in the room for a long time looking at the pants, and thinking they would never fit me. Finally, I tried them on, and they fit, and even had extra room. That felt really good!
Sunday, December 5, 2010
New Milestone
Yesterday, I went to Old Navy to get some pajama pants. This may sound weird, but I didn't actually think I was going to get any, I just went there because my mom had gotten me some pajama pants there a bunch of years back. I found the pants, and I looked at them closely. I didn't know what size I was, so I grabbed a pair of XL pants. I held them up and looked them over. They looked so small. I took them to the dressing room and tried them on. I was in the room by myself for a long time looking at them. Finally, I took the dive, and tried them on. Not only did they fit, but there was PLENTY of extra room. I sat down, and got emotional. You know, I really didn't expect to get that way, it just happened.
I got dressed and left the room. My wife saw me and asked did they fit? I was so emotional, that I handed them to her and said, what do you think? In the end, I decided not to buy them, because they were $17.50, and I couldn't justify spending so much on something that wasn't going to last. So I realized that I was a small size, and I also realized that I will get smaller. It was a good day
I got dressed and left the room. My wife saw me and asked did they fit? I was so emotional, that I handed them to her and said, what do you think? In the end, I decided not to buy them, because they were $17.50, and I couldn't justify spending so much on something that wasn't going to last. So I realized that I was a small size, and I also realized that I will get smaller. It was a good day
Friday, November 26, 2010
First Thanksgiving Post Op and Other Stuff
Well, my first Thanksgiving Post Op, was yesterday. I won't say that I was nervous, about the day going in, but I will say I was a bit worried. Thanksgiving is an obese person's dream. You eat all day, take a nap, sit around and watch football, and eat some more. The average Thanksgiving meal is 2,000 calories. This was, also, my first Thanksgiving without my mother. We went to her house, each Thanksgiving, and ate and ate. We would then bring leftovers home and eat some more. Thanksgiving, is also, my favorite holiday. So I had somethings working against me.
Because of all of this, I decided to have a theme for my Thanksgiving this year. I called it: New Traditions. Because of our surgery, we could no longer make the day about the meal. Instead, I wanted to make it about being with family and friends. We invited, my inlaws, my sister, and my friend that had the same exact surgery as I had, on the same exact day. He and I are surgery twins, and have gotten really close because of that. I told everyone to come over at 9:00 am, and we would cook together, and watch the parade, and catch up. I really needed this, for myself. I told everyone, how imporant this was to me.
Well 9:00 am came, and no one was here. My wife, and kids, were running around, getting ready, and I was stuck watching the parade, which I don't really like, by myself. It got to be 10:00 am and I was all alone, and I started to get a little depressed. I had told everyone, how imporant this was to me, and it seemed like no one cared. I got up, and went to my room, and laid down for a nap. I had given up on the day, and I was very frustrated, and just thought that no one cared about what I was trying to do. My wife, and kids sensed that there was something wrong, and each kid came in the room, and asked me to come back down stairs. I told them I was napping. I had just given up.
While, I was in my room, my friend called, and said he had over slept, and would be over by 11:00 am. My sister called, and said she would be late. My inlaws, were late as well. I woke up at about 10:45, and came back down stairs. I was in a bad mood, but I knew I had to get dinner done. So, I went into the kitchen, and started getting ready to make the stuffing. My wife came in, and asked to help. I was short with her, and didn't want to talk. I began making the stuffing, and she told me to snap out of it. As I was making the rest of the food, I decided, that, obviously, the day was not supposed to go the way I planned, so, I just rolled with the punches.
Finally, my inlaws, were the first to arrive. They came at about 11:10 am or so. So I began to get a little festive, and my mood started to improve. I got a text from my sister at 11:35 that said she was leaving her house. I got a call from my friend, and he said he was on his way, but was lost. So I directed him to the house. He got here at about 11:45, and my mood immediately got better. I introduced him around, and we sat and chatted for a bit. Finally, my sister arrived, and we were all ready to eat, and enjoy the day.
Normally, we would spend $250.00 on our big meal for the year. This year, we spent $35.00. We bought the smallest turkey, we bought some stuffing, mashed potatoes, and some green beans. I made, about 1/3 of what I would normally make for our dinner. We stayed away, from buying things like pie, and mac & cheese, which is a family tradition. So we made our plates, and I put very little food on it. I put a small piece of turkey, half a spoonful of stuffing, and a spoonful of mashed potatoes. My wife, did the same. This was the first time I had seen my friend eat, and I was a bit shocked, by how much food he served himself. I thought in the back of my mind, that there was no way he would finish his plate. He made a comment, about how little food, my wife and I served ourselves. Then he was shocked, when I said I wouldn't be able to finish it.
So we sat around, and ate our dinner. We chatted about what was going on, and how our lives have changed this year. How this was the best year of our lives. It takes me a long time to eat, about 20 mins or so, so we chatted about everything under the sun. I didn't finish what was on my plate, and I remained at the table talking with my friend, and my wife. I was a little shocked, that my friend finished his plate, and that he ate a lot quicker than I did. I learned something a long time ago. When someone has this surgery, it is their journey, and not mine. Everyone is different, and just because I do something, doesn't mean that everyone else, can or will do it. For me, I only eat until I feel something in my pouch, and then I stop. I never get the feeling of being full, because I don't like that feeling, and I am afraid that I will stretch my pouch. The doctor said that, that is what you are supposed to do, so that is what I do.
I left the table, and sat down to watch some football. I didn't really watch the game, which is odd for me, I was more interested in the conversation that was going on around me. I chatted with my sister, about what was going on in her life. She has not had the same great year that I have had, but all in all, her year could of been worse. I chatted with my friend about his life, and I was really enjoying our conversation. My wife came in, and joined us, and we all talked and talked. I couldn't tell you what the final score of the game was, because I was so engaged in what was going on around me.
My wife, said that I was boring everyone with football, so instead of watching the second game, we watched Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. I had only seen bits and pieces of that movies, so I was game for that. I was afraid, that when the movie came on, that we would be focused on that and not have any conversation.
During the movie, my friend fell asleep, and my wife talked with her parents. Her parents, do not speak a lot of English, so she was translating the movie to them. Towards the end of the movie, my friend woke up, and decided to leave. We gave him some leftovers to take home, and I walked him out. I came back in, and finished the movie. After the movie was over, we all sat down, for dinner. We ate, and then, my wife and her mom cleaned up. My inlaws left around 7:30 pm or so, and my wife and I watch a little TV and I went to bed.
Although, my day did not start as planned, we accomplished what we set out to do. We made the day about spending time with our family, and not the meal. Food did not dominate the day. I didn't eat myself silly, or take a nap. All in all a good day, and the start of a new tradition.
I was excited for Thanksgiving weekend, for many reasons. Firstly, Thanksgiving itsself, and also, my wife and I are leaving today to spend the three day weekend ALL BY OURSELVES!!! We have not spent a weekend alone, in over 4 years. we really need this time, to rejuvinate our relationship.
Before surgery, my wife and my relationship was awful. Had we done nothing about it, we would probably be on the verge of divorce right now. Because of our weight, and our laziness, we had fallen out of love with each other, and were together out of habit. We always loved each other, mind you, but the spark was gone, and we spent a majority of our time, making promises to each other, that were never kept, and fighting.
Since our surgery, we have completely changed as people. We make promises, and keep them. We keep each other on track, and I have fallen back in love with my wife. I look forward to coming home each day, and most of the time, we don't watch TV, anymore, we sit and chat about things. We do not bring up the past, that is a rule. We talk about what is currently going on, and give each other advice on how to make things better in our lives. This is fresh start with our weight loss and our lives. I am veiwing this as a fresh start to our relationship as well. I have been with my wife for 15 years, and, today, I feel like a 15 year old boy when I am with her.
I am really looking forward to this weekend!!!
Because of all of this, I decided to have a theme for my Thanksgiving this year. I called it: New Traditions. Because of our surgery, we could no longer make the day about the meal. Instead, I wanted to make it about being with family and friends. We invited, my inlaws, my sister, and my friend that had the same exact surgery as I had, on the same exact day. He and I are surgery twins, and have gotten really close because of that. I told everyone to come over at 9:00 am, and we would cook together, and watch the parade, and catch up. I really needed this, for myself. I told everyone, how imporant this was to me.
Well 9:00 am came, and no one was here. My wife, and kids, were running around, getting ready, and I was stuck watching the parade, which I don't really like, by myself. It got to be 10:00 am and I was all alone, and I started to get a little depressed. I had told everyone, how imporant this was to me, and it seemed like no one cared. I got up, and went to my room, and laid down for a nap. I had given up on the day, and I was very frustrated, and just thought that no one cared about what I was trying to do. My wife, and kids sensed that there was something wrong, and each kid came in the room, and asked me to come back down stairs. I told them I was napping. I had just given up.
While, I was in my room, my friend called, and said he had over slept, and would be over by 11:00 am. My sister called, and said she would be late. My inlaws, were late as well. I woke up at about 10:45, and came back down stairs. I was in a bad mood, but I knew I had to get dinner done. So, I went into the kitchen, and started getting ready to make the stuffing. My wife came in, and asked to help. I was short with her, and didn't want to talk. I began making the stuffing, and she told me to snap out of it. As I was making the rest of the food, I decided, that, obviously, the day was not supposed to go the way I planned, so, I just rolled with the punches.
Finally, my inlaws, were the first to arrive. They came at about 11:10 am or so. So I began to get a little festive, and my mood started to improve. I got a text from my sister at 11:35 that said she was leaving her house. I got a call from my friend, and he said he was on his way, but was lost. So I directed him to the house. He got here at about 11:45, and my mood immediately got better. I introduced him around, and we sat and chatted for a bit. Finally, my sister arrived, and we were all ready to eat, and enjoy the day.
Normally, we would spend $250.00 on our big meal for the year. This year, we spent $35.00. We bought the smallest turkey, we bought some stuffing, mashed potatoes, and some green beans. I made, about 1/3 of what I would normally make for our dinner. We stayed away, from buying things like pie, and mac & cheese, which is a family tradition. So we made our plates, and I put very little food on it. I put a small piece of turkey, half a spoonful of stuffing, and a spoonful of mashed potatoes. My wife, did the same. This was the first time I had seen my friend eat, and I was a bit shocked, by how much food he served himself. I thought in the back of my mind, that there was no way he would finish his plate. He made a comment, about how little food, my wife and I served ourselves. Then he was shocked, when I said I wouldn't be able to finish it.
So we sat around, and ate our dinner. We chatted about what was going on, and how our lives have changed this year. How this was the best year of our lives. It takes me a long time to eat, about 20 mins or so, so we chatted about everything under the sun. I didn't finish what was on my plate, and I remained at the table talking with my friend, and my wife. I was a little shocked, that my friend finished his plate, and that he ate a lot quicker than I did. I learned something a long time ago. When someone has this surgery, it is their journey, and not mine. Everyone is different, and just because I do something, doesn't mean that everyone else, can or will do it. For me, I only eat until I feel something in my pouch, and then I stop. I never get the feeling of being full, because I don't like that feeling, and I am afraid that I will stretch my pouch. The doctor said that, that is what you are supposed to do, so that is what I do.
I left the table, and sat down to watch some football. I didn't really watch the game, which is odd for me, I was more interested in the conversation that was going on around me. I chatted with my sister, about what was going on in her life. She has not had the same great year that I have had, but all in all, her year could of been worse. I chatted with my friend about his life, and I was really enjoying our conversation. My wife came in, and joined us, and we all talked and talked. I couldn't tell you what the final score of the game was, because I was so engaged in what was going on around me.
My wife, said that I was boring everyone with football, so instead of watching the second game, we watched Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. I had only seen bits and pieces of that movies, so I was game for that. I was afraid, that when the movie came on, that we would be focused on that and not have any conversation.
During the movie, my friend fell asleep, and my wife talked with her parents. Her parents, do not speak a lot of English, so she was translating the movie to them. Towards the end of the movie, my friend woke up, and decided to leave. We gave him some leftovers to take home, and I walked him out. I came back in, and finished the movie. After the movie was over, we all sat down, for dinner. We ate, and then, my wife and her mom cleaned up. My inlaws left around 7:30 pm or so, and my wife and I watch a little TV and I went to bed.
Although, my day did not start as planned, we accomplished what we set out to do. We made the day about spending time with our family, and not the meal. Food did not dominate the day. I didn't eat myself silly, or take a nap. All in all a good day, and the start of a new tradition.
I was excited for Thanksgiving weekend, for many reasons. Firstly, Thanksgiving itsself, and also, my wife and I are leaving today to spend the three day weekend ALL BY OURSELVES!!! We have not spent a weekend alone, in over 4 years. we really need this time, to rejuvinate our relationship.
Before surgery, my wife and my relationship was awful. Had we done nothing about it, we would probably be on the verge of divorce right now. Because of our weight, and our laziness, we had fallen out of love with each other, and were together out of habit. We always loved each other, mind you, but the spark was gone, and we spent a majority of our time, making promises to each other, that were never kept, and fighting.
Since our surgery, we have completely changed as people. We make promises, and keep them. We keep each other on track, and I have fallen back in love with my wife. I look forward to coming home each day, and most of the time, we don't watch TV, anymore, we sit and chat about things. We do not bring up the past, that is a rule. We talk about what is currently going on, and give each other advice on how to make things better in our lives. This is fresh start with our weight loss and our lives. I am veiwing this as a fresh start to our relationship as well. I have been with my wife for 15 years, and, today, I feel like a 15 year old boy when I am with her.
I am really looking forward to this weekend!!!
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Real Concerns
I am not going to say that I am not happy about losing 107 lbs in 12 weeks. I am exstatic about it. I am really happy, and it keeps me motivated and happy. I can't believe I have lost so much weight in a very short period of time. I am not a patient person at all, so this has really been motivating and exceiting to me. However, I am worried about something.
I surround myself, with people that have had Bariatric Surgery. I have watched people on You Tube, that have had surgery. I have watched a lot of people's videos, and I have done a lot of research. I have NEVER EVER come accross someone that has lost as much weight as I have, in the short amount of time that I have. I am not questioning it, mind you, but I am a little concerned that I am losing weight too fast. I have gone over everything that I am doing, and I am following the rules. I am taking the right amount of protein per day, so I am not losing muscle. I am eating about 3 ozs of food per meal, which is normal. I am getting all of my vitamins, daily. I am walking every weekday morning, for at least a mile or more. I am being active, and living a more active lifestyle. I am not eating anything that I shouldn't be eating. In short, I am good with structure, and routine, and I am following it exactly. I spent a lot of money on this surgery, and I don't want to screw it up. I am just concerned that I am losing weight too fast. In my research, I have found that it takes most people, at least six months to lose 100 lbs. It has taken me 11 weeks. When I had my pre op, I remember them testing my metobolism, and I burned 4,000 calories a day, doing nothing. Right now I am taking in about 900 - 1,000 calories per day, so maybe that is the reason I am losing so fast. Again, I am not questioning it, I am just a little concerned sometimes. I weigh myself weekly, and I have gotten used to such big numbers, that I get a little frustrated on a week where I have lost like 3 - 4 lbs. Then the following week, I make up with for it with another big loss.
Another thing I thought of was, what if I don't stop losing weight, when I feel I have reached my goal? I think a good weight for me is 180 - 190. What if I continue losing, after that goal has been met? I know, it will eventually stop, but I dont want to be rail thin. I mean, that would be the opposite problem, of what I had before. I have always been a big, strong guy, and I like that about myself, so being rail thin, would bother me. It isn't like there would be anything I could do about being so thin. I mean I couldn't just eat more, and gain weight. I guess I would just have to live with it. I guess I will cross that bridge when it comes.
I want to say to anyone that is reading this, that is considering weight loss surgery. My insurance would not cover my surgery. I spent $17,900.00, and my wife spent the same. We financed $25,800.00 of the total. I want to tell you that we struggle financially to pay this debt off every month. We have given up a lot of things that we used to do. We have given up Christmas, Valentine's Day, Birthdays, Mother's Day, Father's Day, and pretty much, every gift giving event. We only buy presents for our kids, and we give them a cap of about $100.00, per event. We have scaled back on everything in our house that is not absolutely an essential. We do not take family vacations, and when we do go out, we do things for free, or close to free. We have completely changed our lifestyle. We used to spend a lot of money on things, but we are no longer able to do that. If we go out to dinner, or spend money on something we go out to do, we veiw that as a treat., and it happens MAYBE once a month. I drive an 8 year old car, and it has to last another 3 years. We don't buy things that we want, only things that we absolutely need.
The point of me telling you all of that, is that I have NO REGRETS! I would do it again tomorrow. This surgery SAVED my life, and it gave me my life back. It was the BEST decision that I ever made. It is the BEST money that I have ever spent. If you are over weight, and you have hit rock bottom, and you don't know what to do, I would suggest this surgery to you. If your insurance will not pay for it, finance it. If you can not get financing, figure out a way to pay for it. You will NOT regret it. I promise you that.
I surround myself, with people that have had Bariatric Surgery. I have watched people on You Tube, that have had surgery. I have watched a lot of people's videos, and I have done a lot of research. I have NEVER EVER come accross someone that has lost as much weight as I have, in the short amount of time that I have. I am not questioning it, mind you, but I am a little concerned that I am losing weight too fast. I have gone over everything that I am doing, and I am following the rules. I am taking the right amount of protein per day, so I am not losing muscle. I am eating about 3 ozs of food per meal, which is normal. I am getting all of my vitamins, daily. I am walking every weekday morning, for at least a mile or more. I am being active, and living a more active lifestyle. I am not eating anything that I shouldn't be eating. In short, I am good with structure, and routine, and I am following it exactly. I spent a lot of money on this surgery, and I don't want to screw it up. I am just concerned that I am losing weight too fast. In my research, I have found that it takes most people, at least six months to lose 100 lbs. It has taken me 11 weeks. When I had my pre op, I remember them testing my metobolism, and I burned 4,000 calories a day, doing nothing. Right now I am taking in about 900 - 1,000 calories per day, so maybe that is the reason I am losing so fast. Again, I am not questioning it, I am just a little concerned sometimes. I weigh myself weekly, and I have gotten used to such big numbers, that I get a little frustrated on a week where I have lost like 3 - 4 lbs. Then the following week, I make up with for it with another big loss.
Another thing I thought of was, what if I don't stop losing weight, when I feel I have reached my goal? I think a good weight for me is 180 - 190. What if I continue losing, after that goal has been met? I know, it will eventually stop, but I dont want to be rail thin. I mean, that would be the opposite problem, of what I had before. I have always been a big, strong guy, and I like that about myself, so being rail thin, would bother me. It isn't like there would be anything I could do about being so thin. I mean I couldn't just eat more, and gain weight. I guess I would just have to live with it. I guess I will cross that bridge when it comes.
I want to say to anyone that is reading this, that is considering weight loss surgery. My insurance would not cover my surgery. I spent $17,900.00, and my wife spent the same. We financed $25,800.00 of the total. I want to tell you that we struggle financially to pay this debt off every month. We have given up a lot of things that we used to do. We have given up Christmas, Valentine's Day, Birthdays, Mother's Day, Father's Day, and pretty much, every gift giving event. We only buy presents for our kids, and we give them a cap of about $100.00, per event. We have scaled back on everything in our house that is not absolutely an essential. We do not take family vacations, and when we do go out, we do things for free, or close to free. We have completely changed our lifestyle. We used to spend a lot of money on things, but we are no longer able to do that. If we go out to dinner, or spend money on something we go out to do, we veiw that as a treat., and it happens MAYBE once a month. I drive an 8 year old car, and it has to last another 3 years. We don't buy things that we want, only things that we absolutely need.
The point of me telling you all of that, is that I have NO REGRETS! I would do it again tomorrow. This surgery SAVED my life, and it gave me my life back. It was the BEST decision that I ever made. It is the BEST money that I have ever spent. If you are over weight, and you have hit rock bottom, and you don't know what to do, I would suggest this surgery to you. If your insurance will not pay for it, finance it. If you can not get financing, figure out a way to pay for it. You will NOT regret it. I promise you that.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Some Questions
I have previously blogged about how much my life has changed. I have told you how my attitude has changed, and all of the things that I am doing to better myself, and reach my full potential. I am a work in progress, and I feel I am getting to where I want to be, each and every day. However somethings are going on, that I can't explain.
First and formost, I have a new mantra that I have to repeat to myself, daily, sometimes hourly. If I don't do this I will go insane. My mantra is: "No one is feeling what I am feeling. I need to be patient." Sometimes, well most of the time, I get frustrated with other people, because they do not have the zest that I have. They can not keep up with me, and I want them to be on the same page that I am. This is a big change for me, and most people are not used to me yet, or are in a wait and see mode. It frustrates me, because I want everyone to change right a long with me, and I have to realize that no one is experiencing what I am. People need to get used to me. I need to give people time to catch up to what I am doing. I am moving at 1,000 miles per second, and no one can keep up. Sometimes they try, but they can't. I need to repeat to myself my mantra or I get frustrated.
Secondly, I have had a few amazing things happen to me. With this new found person I have become, I have been changing my approach to EVERYTHING in my life. With work, I am out there doing new things, I am doing things that should of always been done. With my personal life, I am changing my approach, and mending relationships with my family, that have been damaged in the past. I am putting 110% effort into these new things that I am doing. Problem is, that, sometimes, if I don't see some results, I begin to question myself. I begin to get frustrated, and have been on the brink of quitting doing what I am doing. EVERYTIME, I have been ready to throw in the towel, something AMAZING has happened. Right at that second, when I feel all hope is lost, I get a reminder from someone or something. I get an sign, as I like to call it. This has happened to me twice, already, and the sign has told me that I am doing the right thing, and to keep plugging along. NEVER QUIT!!! I have questioned, why this is happening to me, and I have come to a realization. I believe that God is speaking to me. He sees that I am losing hope, and he tells me that I am doing the right thing, and to keep moving forward. He has spoken to me, and I am listening. Perhaps, he has done that all along, and I am just now, listening to what he is saying to me. One thing is for certain: I am tuned in to what he has to say.
I am the luckiest person in the world, and whenever I get frustrated, I get what I need to move forward.
First and formost, I have a new mantra that I have to repeat to myself, daily, sometimes hourly. If I don't do this I will go insane. My mantra is: "No one is feeling what I am feeling. I need to be patient." Sometimes, well most of the time, I get frustrated with other people, because they do not have the zest that I have. They can not keep up with me, and I want them to be on the same page that I am. This is a big change for me, and most people are not used to me yet, or are in a wait and see mode. It frustrates me, because I want everyone to change right a long with me, and I have to realize that no one is experiencing what I am. People need to get used to me. I need to give people time to catch up to what I am doing. I am moving at 1,000 miles per second, and no one can keep up. Sometimes they try, but they can't. I need to repeat to myself my mantra or I get frustrated.
Secondly, I have had a few amazing things happen to me. With this new found person I have become, I have been changing my approach to EVERYTHING in my life. With work, I am out there doing new things, I am doing things that should of always been done. With my personal life, I am changing my approach, and mending relationships with my family, that have been damaged in the past. I am putting 110% effort into these new things that I am doing. Problem is, that, sometimes, if I don't see some results, I begin to question myself. I begin to get frustrated, and have been on the brink of quitting doing what I am doing. EVERYTIME, I have been ready to throw in the towel, something AMAZING has happened. Right at that second, when I feel all hope is lost, I get a reminder from someone or something. I get an sign, as I like to call it. This has happened to me twice, already, and the sign has told me that I am doing the right thing, and to keep plugging along. NEVER QUIT!!! I have questioned, why this is happening to me, and I have come to a realization. I believe that God is speaking to me. He sees that I am losing hope, and he tells me that I am doing the right thing, and to keep moving forward. He has spoken to me, and I am listening. Perhaps, he has done that all along, and I am just now, listening to what he is saying to me. One thing is for certain: I am tuned in to what he has to say.
I am the luckiest person in the world, and whenever I get frustrated, I get what I need to move forward.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
My Life Has COMPLETELY Changed
I am 11 weeks Post Op. I have lost 104 pounds. Not only has my appearance, drastically changed, but EVERYTHING about me has changed.
There is a song that says: "It's so lonely, when you don't even know yourself." That is very true. I lived a very lonely life 11 weeks ago. I didn't have any friends, and I always wondered why. I thought that I was a good friend, and fun to be around. Looking back on it, I was a miserable, depressed person, and no wonder, no one wanted to be around me. I was quiet, never spoke my mind, and was a major downer. I have gotten to know myself, and the person I am, today is 100% better than where I was a short time ago. I am not 100% where I want to be yet, but I am getting there.
I have a zest for life now. I enjoy waking up, and I am always ready to take on the day. When I wake up, I look at my calendar and see what I have planned for the day. I plan my day accordingly. I am a morning person, and I get more done, before 7:00 am, then most people get done all day. I have learned, that I love waking up.
I am an outgoing person, and I strike up conversations, with most anyone. It is mostly chit chat, and I find that, it is fun to get to know people, and really listen to what they have to say. I didn't used to do that. I was never shy, but I was mostly, introverted. I have really come out of my shell.
My wife says that I am full of confidence, and you can tell that when you speak to me. She says I am not 100%, but you can tell that I am excited, about what I am talking about, and my confidence shows. I was never that way in my life.
I enjoy meeting new people, and I love being in a situation, where I can talk to people. I really like meeting people that have been through Bariatric Surgery, or are considering doing it. It is my favorite thing to talk about. I can talk until I am blue in the face to someone, and explain things to people that have not had surgery, BUT NO ONE truly understands, unless they have been through it. I like to surround myself with those people, because, firstly, they keep me on track. Talking with them and hearing their experience, really helps, and motivates me. Secondly, you never know when you will be in a situation, and they will know the answer. Thirdly, for the most part, they are good people, and you have something, major, in common with them. It is sort of like having an army buddy. You were in the trenches with that person, and only they understand certain things.
I have a truly positive attitude. I am enthusiastic about EVERYTHING I have going on. I have noticed that my enthusiasm, and zest for life, is beginning to rub off on people around me. They are coming at me, with the same energy, that I have. They are starting to realize that this is who I am, and I am not changing.
I guess it is true: For the most part, you really do get back, what you put out there.
There is a song that says: "It's so lonely, when you don't even know yourself." That is very true. I lived a very lonely life 11 weeks ago. I didn't have any friends, and I always wondered why. I thought that I was a good friend, and fun to be around. Looking back on it, I was a miserable, depressed person, and no wonder, no one wanted to be around me. I was quiet, never spoke my mind, and was a major downer. I have gotten to know myself, and the person I am, today is 100% better than where I was a short time ago. I am not 100% where I want to be yet, but I am getting there.
I have a zest for life now. I enjoy waking up, and I am always ready to take on the day. When I wake up, I look at my calendar and see what I have planned for the day. I plan my day accordingly. I am a morning person, and I get more done, before 7:00 am, then most people get done all day. I have learned, that I love waking up.
I am an outgoing person, and I strike up conversations, with most anyone. It is mostly chit chat, and I find that, it is fun to get to know people, and really listen to what they have to say. I didn't used to do that. I was never shy, but I was mostly, introverted. I have really come out of my shell.
My wife says that I am full of confidence, and you can tell that when you speak to me. She says I am not 100%, but you can tell that I am excited, about what I am talking about, and my confidence shows. I was never that way in my life.
I enjoy meeting new people, and I love being in a situation, where I can talk to people. I really like meeting people that have been through Bariatric Surgery, or are considering doing it. It is my favorite thing to talk about. I can talk until I am blue in the face to someone, and explain things to people that have not had surgery, BUT NO ONE truly understands, unless they have been through it. I like to surround myself with those people, because, firstly, they keep me on track. Talking with them and hearing their experience, really helps, and motivates me. Secondly, you never know when you will be in a situation, and they will know the answer. Thirdly, for the most part, they are good people, and you have something, major, in common with them. It is sort of like having an army buddy. You were in the trenches with that person, and only they understand certain things.
I have a truly positive attitude. I am enthusiastic about EVERYTHING I have going on. I have noticed that my enthusiasm, and zest for life, is beginning to rub off on people around me. They are coming at me, with the same energy, that I have. They are starting to realize that this is who I am, and I am not changing.
I guess it is true: For the most part, you really do get back, what you put out there.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Finally did it
I am 11 weeks Post Op tomorrow, and I have lost 104 pounds!!!!! I am SO excited. I feel so much better. Last week, I was upset, because I had only lost 4 pounds. This week I was so excited to see I broke the Century Mark.
I want to be honest about something for a second. When I was bigger, I let a lot of things go in my life. Hell, I let EVERYTHING go. I lost a step, I lost my self confidence, I lost my self esteem, I was a miserable person, and I made everyone around me miserable. I never wanted to leave the house, even to go to work. I was on the brink of divorce, and was just in a bad situation.
I am not in touch with the person I was 11 weeks ago. I don't even know that person anymore. I am completely different. I wake up in the morning, and I am excited to take on the day. I don't want to lay around the house anymore, and sleep. I have more confidence, and a higher self esteem, then I have EVER had in my life. My relationship my wife, my kids, my co workers, and friends, has improved 100%. When not busy, I find things to keep myself busy. I am excited about my life now.
Because of this BIG change in myself, in such a short time, people are waiting for the other shoe to drop. I have a new philosophy, that I have instituted. Today, I am going to be the best person I can be. I can't change what happened yesterday, and I can't predict what will happen tomorrow. Today, is the only thing that is real to me. As long as I handle what is going on today, I am fine. Of course, I have goals, and what I do is concentrate on achieving those goals, or moving closer to them today. That has worked for me.
I have noticed that my new attitude is infectious. People around me, are starting to keep up with me. They are, becoming more and more, like me. I am excited about this new attitude, and for today, it is energizing me!!!!
I want to be honest about something for a second. When I was bigger, I let a lot of things go in my life. Hell, I let EVERYTHING go. I lost a step, I lost my self confidence, I lost my self esteem, I was a miserable person, and I made everyone around me miserable. I never wanted to leave the house, even to go to work. I was on the brink of divorce, and was just in a bad situation.
I am not in touch with the person I was 11 weeks ago. I don't even know that person anymore. I am completely different. I wake up in the morning, and I am excited to take on the day. I don't want to lay around the house anymore, and sleep. I have more confidence, and a higher self esteem, then I have EVER had in my life. My relationship my wife, my kids, my co workers, and friends, has improved 100%. When not busy, I find things to keep myself busy. I am excited about my life now.
Because of this BIG change in myself, in such a short time, people are waiting for the other shoe to drop. I have a new philosophy, that I have instituted. Today, I am going to be the best person I can be. I can't change what happened yesterday, and I can't predict what will happen tomorrow. Today, is the only thing that is real to me. As long as I handle what is going on today, I am fine. Of course, I have goals, and what I do is concentrate on achieving those goals, or moving closer to them today. That has worked for me.
I have noticed that my new attitude is infectious. People around me, are starting to keep up with me. They are, becoming more and more, like me. I am excited about this new attitude, and for today, it is energizing me!!!!
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Misconceptions, and Myths
I am open and honest to everyone about my surgery. I tell everyone that asks, how I lost my weight. I am proud of it, and it is a big part of my life. In doing that, I have run into, a lot of ignorance about Bariatric Surgery.
Some people have told me, that I have taken the easy way out, and all I had to do was quit eating so much and exercise. First of all, obesity is a disease. A person, is genetically, predisposed to that disease. It is like an alcholic. There is no cure for obesity. I have struggled with it my whole life, and I will struggle with it the rest of my life.
Secondly, I can gain weight back, if I don't watch what I am doing, and I don't follow the rules. There are many people, that I have encountered, that have had WLS, and they have gained their weight back after a few years. Those are the people, that did not follow the rules. It is possible, for your pouch to stretch, and you will be able to eat more and more food. In short, you can't suck down cheeseburgers, and fries, and expect to maintain your weight. It just won't happen.
Part of my new lifestyle, is stopping bad habits. Although I am not hungry, I still crave food that is bad for me. I must fight the urge to eat bad foods. Now this has gotten better over time, but it is still there. I have to eat until I feel something, and stop. I can still stuff myself, if I choose, but I choose not to. I have to exercise, everyday. In short, this is no day at the beach, and I have to work at it. I just wish people would understand that.
Some people have told me, that I have taken the easy way out, and all I had to do was quit eating so much and exercise. First of all, obesity is a disease. A person, is genetically, predisposed to that disease. It is like an alcholic. There is no cure for obesity. I have struggled with it my whole life, and I will struggle with it the rest of my life.
Secondly, I can gain weight back, if I don't watch what I am doing, and I don't follow the rules. There are many people, that I have encountered, that have had WLS, and they have gained their weight back after a few years. Those are the people, that did not follow the rules. It is possible, for your pouch to stretch, and you will be able to eat more and more food. In short, you can't suck down cheeseburgers, and fries, and expect to maintain your weight. It just won't happen.
Part of my new lifestyle, is stopping bad habits. Although I am not hungry, I still crave food that is bad for me. I must fight the urge to eat bad foods. Now this has gotten better over time, but it is still there. I have to eat until I feel something, and stop. I can still stuff myself, if I choose, but I choose not to. I have to exercise, everyday. In short, this is no day at the beach, and I have to work at it. I just wish people would understand that.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Finally Starting to Notice
Yesterday was my 2 month Post Op, surgiversary. I have lost a total of 93 lbs. I know that I have lost a lot of weight, but yesterday, I really got to see the difference 2 months has made.
When I started my journey, I made a decision, to chronicle my weight loss, every way that I could. I post blogs, I have a channel on You Tube, and I take pictures. I took a picture on August 26, 2010, which was the night before my surgery. I took a front shot, back shot, and a shot of me turning to the side. On September 27, 2010, my one month Surgiversary, I took the same pictures of myself. Last night, on my two month Surgiversary, I took the same pictures again. In the pictures, I am wearing shorts and no shirt.
For the first time, in a while, I went back and looked at all the pictures I had taken. Let me preface what I am about to say, by this: I know I have lost a lot of weight, and I have seen some changes in myself. Other people have seen the changes, and have made many comments to me about them. The problem is, when I look in the mirror, I still see a 365 pound person looking back at me. Last night, when I looked back at the pictures, I was shocked at what I saw.
In my first picture, I looked horrible. It doesn't even look like me, and frankly, I don't know that person. While looking at it, I was shocked and ashamed that I let myself get that bad. I can't believe that I ever looked that way, and I vowed to never look that way again.
In my second picture, I looked better. I remember when I took that picture, and I thought how great I looked, and I felt that I had come a long way in one month. In all honesty, I had lost a lot of weight at that time. I had lost 60 lbs, at the time.
In yesterday's picture, I looked like a completely different person. I finally noticed the change in my body. I finally saw, what other people had been telling me. It was a major boost to my self esteem. I no longer look at myself as that 365 pound person. I am a completely new person, and I like that. The experience was a real eye opener for me.
I am sure, next month, when I take my picture again, I will look at the one I took yesterday, and see an even bigger change. The changes are just starting. I am liking my new self, and it is keeping me motivated.
Maybe, one day, I will be brave enough to post those pictures. You will just have to stay tuned and see.
When I started my journey, I made a decision, to chronicle my weight loss, every way that I could. I post blogs, I have a channel on You Tube, and I take pictures. I took a picture on August 26, 2010, which was the night before my surgery. I took a front shot, back shot, and a shot of me turning to the side. On September 27, 2010, my one month Surgiversary, I took the same pictures of myself. Last night, on my two month Surgiversary, I took the same pictures again. In the pictures, I am wearing shorts and no shirt.
For the first time, in a while, I went back and looked at all the pictures I had taken. Let me preface what I am about to say, by this: I know I have lost a lot of weight, and I have seen some changes in myself. Other people have seen the changes, and have made many comments to me about them. The problem is, when I look in the mirror, I still see a 365 pound person looking back at me. Last night, when I looked back at the pictures, I was shocked at what I saw.
In my first picture, I looked horrible. It doesn't even look like me, and frankly, I don't know that person. While looking at it, I was shocked and ashamed that I let myself get that bad. I can't believe that I ever looked that way, and I vowed to never look that way again.
In my second picture, I looked better. I remember when I took that picture, and I thought how great I looked, and I felt that I had come a long way in one month. In all honesty, I had lost a lot of weight at that time. I had lost 60 lbs, at the time.
In yesterday's picture, I looked like a completely different person. I finally noticed the change in my body. I finally saw, what other people had been telling me. It was a major boost to my self esteem. I no longer look at myself as that 365 pound person. I am a completely new person, and I like that. The experience was a real eye opener for me.
I am sure, next month, when I take my picture again, I will look at the one I took yesterday, and see an even bigger change. The changes are just starting. I am liking my new self, and it is keeping me motivated.
Maybe, one day, I will be brave enough to post those pictures. You will just have to stay tuned and see.
Monday, October 25, 2010
So close
I normally only weigh myself once a week. I do that, because, weight fluctuates so much from day to day. Today I weighed myself, and I weighed 272. I have lost 93 lbs in 8 weeks, 3 days. I really want to have lost 100 lbs by Friday, as that will be my 9 week surgiversary. Let's see if I can do it.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
First 5k
Today, my family and I, walked our first 5K. I could have never done that eight weeks ago. We finished in about 30 mins. It was the Walk From Obesity. I am hoping to participate in more 5Ks in the coming year.
I am down 85 lbs. I feel great, and I have a ton of energy. I can't believe that I suffered so many years, being overweight. I wish I would of had VSG, sooner. I am enjoying everything that I can do now. I am able to walk, without getting out of breath or my back hurting, I am able to go to the gym, and workout, 5 days a week, my attitude has changed dramatically, and the people close to me, have commented, and I am just enjoying life. It is funny that, all of this was due to my weight loss.
I am down 85 lbs. I feel great, and I have a ton of energy. I can't believe that I suffered so many years, being overweight. I wish I would of had VSG, sooner. I am enjoying everything that I can do now. I am able to walk, without getting out of breath or my back hurting, I am able to go to the gym, and workout, 5 days a week, my attitude has changed dramatically, and the people close to me, have commented, and I am just enjoying life. It is funny that, all of this was due to my weight loss.
Friday, October 8, 2010
Six Weeks Today
I started my journey, before the liquid diet, weighing 365 lbs. On August 27, 2010, my surgery date, I weighed 342 lbs. Today, which is my six week surgiversary I am 288 lbs. I have lost a total of 77 lbs in six weeks. I feel awesome. I have a ton of energy, and I have noticed that my self confidence has come back. My wife has told me that I am like a complete different person.
I have noticed that I am more social with people, and I have no problem striking up a conversation. When I was heavier, I would hide in the house, and did not want to go out. I have noticed that I enjoy being out more. Wednesday, was walk your child to school day. Brenden's school is about 1 1/2 miles away from our house. I had no problem walking him there. My wife said, before, it seemed like I was depressed all the time, and she has noticed a drastic change in my mood.
Wednesday was my one month (actually 5 1/2 weeks) appointment with the doctor. I told him, that I was not complaining, but I thought I was losing weight too fast. He said that I am in the upper 1% of patients, with my weight loss, but that I was doing everything right, and there was nothing to be concerned about.
All of this is great. My recovery was awesome. The doctor said I did not have a normal recovery. I had surgery on a Friday, and felt like I could go to work on Monday. I did not have to use any pain medication. On top of that, my results have been fantastic, and I do not regret having surgery at all. In fact, I wish I would have done it sooner.
However, the other shoe has fallen. On September 14, 2010, my wife, Belsis, also had the same surgery I had. Her recovery has been completely different from mine.
When Belsis was in the hospital, she had extreme gas pain. I had it as well, as it is normal, but I got rid of mine through walking. She, on the other hand, did not get rid of it in the hospital. When she got home, she was in bed for a few days, and just felt awful. As the days progressed, she would have a constant pain in her pouch (what used to be her stomach) and it would get worse when she ate. In fact, she said she felt like she was going to die from the pain from eating. She was not getting very much liquid down, on top of eating, little or nothing. I finally convinced her to contact the surgeon's office, and tell them what was going on. She contacted them, and they told her to go back to the liquid diet, and if she could not get 60 ozs of liquid down, that she would have to go to the Hospital and get an IV.
That following day, she tried everything that she could to get liquid down. Although she did not get down 60 ozs, she said she wanted to hold off on going to the hospital, because her two week follow up, was in a few days. I went with her to the follow up.
The doctor was concerned, and told her that she either had an ulcer, or a stricture. A stricture, happens when the surgeon makes the opening to the pouch too small. The doctor said that if it was an ulcer, then it would go away by itself. He said that if it was not an ulcer, then they would have to put a camera down her throat, and go into her stomach, to figure out what was going on. He gave her a prescription for a medicine, that coats your stomach, and if the problem was an ulcer, the medicine would take care of it. He told her that if it did not get better, then she would have to call the office back in two weeks. Problem is, that it never got any better. I was concerned, because she was not getting down any food, was not taking protein, and still was not getting down much fluid. She was basically living on broth.
When I had my follow up appointment, I explained all of this to the doctor, and he told me to have her call the office ASAP. He also said that less than 2% of his patients, have ever had this problem.
She called the office, and spoke to a nurse. The nurse told her that she had to go to the Emergency Room, and get an IV ASAP. She also told her that, after they stabilized her, they would put the camera down her throat and figure out what was wrong. They told her she could be in the hospital for up to 3 days.
She left for the hospital last night. I haven't heard much from her, but the last thing I heard was that they ran tests on her, and she was very low in potassium. They gave her an IV, and contacted the doctor that preformed the surgery, and told him that she was there. The doctor, sent the hospital admission orders and that was the last I heard.
I haven't slept much tonight, and I am very worried about her. She said that her biggest fear was being stuck this way for the rest of her life. I know that can't be the case, and something has to be wrong. Her mom is with her, and I am home taking care of the boys. I wish I was there, and making sure she was getting the proper care.
All of this has frustrated Belsis. She saw the easy recovery that I had, and how well I am doing, and she wants to be where I am. She sees the boys and I eat, and she wants to eat as well. This has been going on for almost a month now, and I just want my wife back.
I have noticed that I am more social with people, and I have no problem striking up a conversation. When I was heavier, I would hide in the house, and did not want to go out. I have noticed that I enjoy being out more. Wednesday, was walk your child to school day. Brenden's school is about 1 1/2 miles away from our house. I had no problem walking him there. My wife said, before, it seemed like I was depressed all the time, and she has noticed a drastic change in my mood.
Wednesday was my one month (actually 5 1/2 weeks) appointment with the doctor. I told him, that I was not complaining, but I thought I was losing weight too fast. He said that I am in the upper 1% of patients, with my weight loss, but that I was doing everything right, and there was nothing to be concerned about.
All of this is great. My recovery was awesome. The doctor said I did not have a normal recovery. I had surgery on a Friday, and felt like I could go to work on Monday. I did not have to use any pain medication. On top of that, my results have been fantastic, and I do not regret having surgery at all. In fact, I wish I would have done it sooner.
However, the other shoe has fallen. On September 14, 2010, my wife, Belsis, also had the same surgery I had. Her recovery has been completely different from mine.
When Belsis was in the hospital, she had extreme gas pain. I had it as well, as it is normal, but I got rid of mine through walking. She, on the other hand, did not get rid of it in the hospital. When she got home, she was in bed for a few days, and just felt awful. As the days progressed, she would have a constant pain in her pouch (what used to be her stomach) and it would get worse when she ate. In fact, she said she felt like she was going to die from the pain from eating. She was not getting very much liquid down, on top of eating, little or nothing. I finally convinced her to contact the surgeon's office, and tell them what was going on. She contacted them, and they told her to go back to the liquid diet, and if she could not get 60 ozs of liquid down, that she would have to go to the Hospital and get an IV.
That following day, she tried everything that she could to get liquid down. Although she did not get down 60 ozs, she said she wanted to hold off on going to the hospital, because her two week follow up, was in a few days. I went with her to the follow up.
The doctor was concerned, and told her that she either had an ulcer, or a stricture. A stricture, happens when the surgeon makes the opening to the pouch too small. The doctor said that if it was an ulcer, then it would go away by itself. He said that if it was not an ulcer, then they would have to put a camera down her throat, and go into her stomach, to figure out what was going on. He gave her a prescription for a medicine, that coats your stomach, and if the problem was an ulcer, the medicine would take care of it. He told her that if it did not get better, then she would have to call the office back in two weeks. Problem is, that it never got any better. I was concerned, because she was not getting down any food, was not taking protein, and still was not getting down much fluid. She was basically living on broth.
When I had my follow up appointment, I explained all of this to the doctor, and he told me to have her call the office ASAP. He also said that less than 2% of his patients, have ever had this problem.
She called the office, and spoke to a nurse. The nurse told her that she had to go to the Emergency Room, and get an IV ASAP. She also told her that, after they stabilized her, they would put the camera down her throat and figure out what was wrong. They told her she could be in the hospital for up to 3 days.
She left for the hospital last night. I haven't heard much from her, but the last thing I heard was that they ran tests on her, and she was very low in potassium. They gave her an IV, and contacted the doctor that preformed the surgery, and told him that she was there. The doctor, sent the hospital admission orders and that was the last I heard.
I haven't slept much tonight, and I am very worried about her. She said that her biggest fear was being stuck this way for the rest of her life. I know that can't be the case, and something has to be wrong. Her mom is with her, and I am home taking care of the boys. I wish I was there, and making sure she was getting the proper care.
All of this has frustrated Belsis. She saw the easy recovery that I had, and how well I am doing, and she wants to be where I am. She sees the boys and I eat, and she wants to eat as well. This has been going on for almost a month now, and I just want my wife back.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Eating
Before surgery, my biggest problem was portion control. I would eat a lot of food, and go back for seconds. It never felt like I was full. I would wake up in the middle of the night, and eat as well. I was constantly eating, and I never stopped.
After surgery, I could only eat 1.5 ozs of food for four weeks. It was easy to eat so little, because I am not hungry. I was to move to 4 ozs of food about a week ago, and I am slowly making it to that level.
First of all, once I ate until I was full and it was the worst feeling I have ever had. So, I measure out my food, and don't eat until I am full, because I don't want that horrible feeling again. I guess that is why I haven't moved to the full 4 ozs yet. I think I am scared of getting full.
After surgery, I could only eat 1.5 ozs of food for four weeks. It was easy to eat so little, because I am not hungry. I was to move to 4 ozs of food about a week ago, and I am slowly making it to that level.
First of all, once I ate until I was full and it was the worst feeling I have ever had. So, I measure out my food, and don't eat until I am full, because I don't want that horrible feeling again. I guess that is why I haven't moved to the full 4 ozs yet. I think I am scared of getting full.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Milestone
I AM OUT OF THE 300s!!!!!!!!!! 299.8 is my weight. I have lost a total of 66 lbs. I haven't been out of the 300s for at least four years. I feel great.
I have been keeping in touch with other people that have had surgery. Firstly, there is my wife, who had surgery almost two weeks ago. Secondly, there is this guy that had the exact same surgery, on the exact same day that I did. I met him in the hospital, and we exchanged phone numbers. We talk at least weekly. Thirdly, I have a friend that had surgery about a month before I did. I stay in touch with her as well. I like to surround myself with as many people that have had surgery that I can. I figure that if I have a problem, then they might have experienced the same thing.
In keeping in touch with these people, I have realized that, in my journey, I am very lucky. My recovery was very easy compared to them, and my weight loss is going faster as well. I am really a very lucky person.
I have been keeping in touch with other people that have had surgery. Firstly, there is my wife, who had surgery almost two weeks ago. Secondly, there is this guy that had the exact same surgery, on the exact same day that I did. I met him in the hospital, and we exchanged phone numbers. We talk at least weekly. Thirdly, I have a friend that had surgery about a month before I did. I stay in touch with her as well. I like to surround myself with as many people that have had surgery that I can. I figure that if I have a problem, then they might have experienced the same thing.
In keeping in touch with these people, I have realized that, in my journey, I am very lucky. My recovery was very easy compared to them, and my weight loss is going faster as well. I am really a very lucky person.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
FRUSTRATED
Currently, I am 302.2 lbs. I started at 365 lbs. I am two pounds from being out of the 300s. I am frustrated, because I wanted to be out of the 300s by my 4 week surigiversay. I fell short. I know that losing 63lbs in four weeks is awesome, but being out of the 300s is like a milestone. I haven't been that weight for at least three years.
At one point last week it showed that I had gained 6 lbs. I thought that something was wrong with the scale. I weighed again and I was the same weight. I searched my mind thinking about what I had done different. There was nothing different I have done. I have been following the program to a t. A few days later, I stepped on the scale, and my weight was what it was previously.
At one point last week it showed that I had gained 6 lbs. I thought that something was wrong with the scale. I weighed again and I was the same weight. I searched my mind thinking about what I had done different. There was nothing different I have done. I have been following the program to a t. A few days later, I stepped on the scale, and my weight was what it was previously.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Some Things Are Great Others Not So Much
I am down 60 lbs and almost out of the 300s. I am excited about that.
I started my walk again yesterday, and I feel good for doing it each day. Brenden is my companion in the evenings, and he is down 10 lbs. He is excited about his weight loss, and so am I.
There is a problem. I have to take medication each morning and night. When I take my pills in the morning, there is no problem. However, when I take my pills at night, I throw up. I have to take my medication, and there has to be something I can do. I dred taking my pills every night.
I started my walk again yesterday, and I feel good for doing it each day. Brenden is my companion in the evenings, and he is down 10 lbs. He is excited about his weight loss, and so am I.
There is a problem. I have to take medication each morning and night. When I take my pills in the morning, there is no problem. However, when I take my pills at night, I throw up. I have to take my medication, and there has to be something I can do. I dred taking my pills every night.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Belsis' Surgery
Belsis just left for the hospital about half an hour ago. I could not go with her because I am sick. I am really upset that I can't be with her. Her parents went with her and they assured me that they would call the second she is out of surgery. The problem with that, is that there is a language barrier between us. Her mom speaks a little English and her dad, even less. You would think that after 15 years with her I would of picked up some Spanish, but I didn't. I am just praying that she has as easy a time that I did.
It is going to be quiet around here while she is gone. I have to take care of the boys, and the house. She is very worried that I will screw something up, and I have assured her that everything will be fine.
I am feeling a little better, and I am going into work today for a half day. I have to leave early to pick up my youngest son from school. I am really looking forward to going back to work, because it seems like I have done nothing for two weeks.
Although I am feeling better, I am going to suspend my walk until I am really feeling better. I don't want to make myself sicker than I am. Although I feel better, I don't want to push it.
It is going to be quiet around here while she is gone. I have to take care of the boys, and the house. She is very worried that I will screw something up, and I have assured her that everything will be fine.
I am feeling a little better, and I am going into work today for a half day. I have to leave early to pick up my youngest son from school. I am really looking forward to going back to work, because it seems like I have done nothing for two weeks.
Although I am feeling better, I am going to suspend my walk until I am really feeling better. I don't want to make myself sicker than I am. Although I feel better, I don't want to push it.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Set Back
I have had my first major set back. Last Tuesday, I started to feel like I was getting a cold. Well the cold got worse and worse as the week went on, and now I have bronchitis. I haven't been able to walk for five days, and I haven't been taking my protein, nor eating right. I started making a conscience effort today, to make sure I get back on schedule.
I have lost 53 pounds. Which is good. I am very happy with my weight loss.
My wife's surgery is tomorrow. I have been told that I can't be there because I am sick. I don't like not being able to be there.
I have lost 53 pounds. Which is good. I am very happy with my weight loss.
My wife's surgery is tomorrow. I have been told that I can't be there because I am sick. I don't like not being able to be there.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
So Many Things To Count
After surgery, there are so many things I have to keep track of. I have to make sure I get enough protein for the day. That is hard to do since I am supplementing my protein with shakes. I have to get at least 110 grams per day. I have to take a multi vitamin twice a day, I have to take calcium twice a day, I have to take iron once a day, and I have to make sure I get at least three servings of milk or yogurt. Sometimes it can be too much. I have learned to set times where I take my shakes, and vitamins so I don't forget. Still it can be a bit daunting. To think I have to do this for the rest of my life.
I have stuck to my walking schedule, even though I am sick right now. I walk a mile in the morning, and a mile at night. Also, when I go to stores, I don't drive around for 20 minutes looking for a good parking spot. I park where ever I can, and walk. It is good exercise.
I am surprised at how little food I can eat. I have been cooking dinner every night, and I am shocked at what can feed our family now. Our food bill has gone down. I was thinking yesterday about how I used to eat. My portions were out of control, and then I would go back for seconds. If that wasn't enough, I would wake up in the middle of the night and eat some more. My mother in law saw the amount of food I could eat, and she was shocked. Things really are different now.
I can't wait for my one month appointment so I can be cleared for weight training. I am looking forward to hitting the gym. I used to go to the gym six days a week for seven years, and I liked the way it made me feel. I was just a better person when I was doing all of that. Hell I feel better now, with just the walking I have been doing. So far this surgery has been a positive thing.
I went to work on Tuesday, and everyone was complementing me on my weight loss. It made me feel good. I know I have only lost 40 lbs, but I can see the difference in my face., and I notice a lot more energy. This ride down the scale has been a lot more fun than the ride up them.
I have stuck to my walking schedule, even though I am sick right now. I walk a mile in the morning, and a mile at night. Also, when I go to stores, I don't drive around for 20 minutes looking for a good parking spot. I park where ever I can, and walk. It is good exercise.
I am surprised at how little food I can eat. I have been cooking dinner every night, and I am shocked at what can feed our family now. Our food bill has gone down. I was thinking yesterday about how I used to eat. My portions were out of control, and then I would go back for seconds. If that wasn't enough, I would wake up in the middle of the night and eat some more. My mother in law saw the amount of food I could eat, and she was shocked. Things really are different now.
I can't wait for my one month appointment so I can be cleared for weight training. I am looking forward to hitting the gym. I used to go to the gym six days a week for seven years, and I liked the way it made me feel. I was just a better person when I was doing all of that. Hell I feel better now, with just the walking I have been doing. So far this surgery has been a positive thing.
I went to work on Tuesday, and everyone was complementing me on my weight loss. It made me feel good. I know I have only lost 40 lbs, but I can see the difference in my face., and I notice a lot more energy. This ride down the scale has been a lot more fun than the ride up them.
Monday, September 6, 2010
New Milestone
I had to go pants shopping before I go back to work tomorrow. It felt good to buy smaller clothes. I think I can still wear my shirts for a little while.
I am feeling good. What is frustrating is that our family, right now, is in a holding pattern. My wife is in her liquid diet, and I am eating solid food. So our meal time is a little messed up right now.
I am feeling good. What is frustrating is that our family, right now, is in a holding pattern. My wife is in her liquid diet, and I am eating solid food. So our meal time is a little messed up right now.
Friday, September 3, 2010
Post Op Complete
My Post Op is complete. The Dr. said I was doing really well and he took me off my Diabetes Medication. I see him again in a month.
Although I am not hungry, I keep gettin cravings for bad foods. For example, last night I was watching football, and I thought we could order a pizza. My pizza days are over. I never realised that there were triggers here. I will just have to get over them.
Belsis had her pre op yesterday, and everything went well. She is ready for her surgery on the 14th.
Although I am not hungry, I keep gettin cravings for bad foods. For example, last night I was watching football, and I thought we could order a pizza. My pizza days are over. I never realised that there were triggers here. I will just have to get over them.
Belsis had her pre op yesterday, and everything went well. She is ready for her surgery on the 14th.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
New Beginings
I walked for 2 miles yesterday, and had the energy to do it. I feel great.
Today is Belsis' pre op visit, and she is very nervous. She said yesterday that she just wanted to get through today. I know how she feels. I felt the same way. I wish the best for her.
I think my family and I are going to take place in our first 5k. It is the Walk From Obesity. Our Dr. is donating the entry fee to his patients, and their family, that want to participate in this event. I hope this is one of many walks we will participate in.
Linus died yesterday. I took him for a walk the day earlier, because I thought he could use some exercise, and he collapsed. He died the next day. I feel horrible. I was just trying to get him some excersise. Although yesterday was a horrible day, I did not have the option to eat to make it better, so my emotions were raw.
Today is Belsis' pre op visit, and she is very nervous. She said yesterday that she just wanted to get through today. I know how she feels. I felt the same way. I wish the best for her.
I think my family and I are going to take place in our first 5k. It is the Walk From Obesity. Our Dr. is donating the entry fee to his patients, and their family, that want to participate in this event. I hope this is one of many walks we will participate in.
Linus died yesterday. I took him for a walk the day earlier, because I thought he could use some exercise, and he collapsed. He died the next day. I feel horrible. I was just trying to get him some excersise. Although yesterday was a horrible day, I did not have the option to eat to make it better, so my emotions were raw.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Milestone
I was able to put my shoes and socks on by myself yesterday. That is so cool. It was so embarassing before when I couldn't. I also walked for a mile. I feel awesome, and I am so glad I had this surgery.
I want to address something that people might think. I did not take the easy way out. This journey has been rough. I had to go through a liquid diet for 14 days. I have had to relearn how to eat. I have had to excersise. This has been no picnic. The surgery was a tool. The rest is up to me. Having the surgery is like having power steering in your car. You can still run into a ditch. What I do with this new lease is up to me. It is my journey and I can choose to screw it up, or make it positive. I choose to make it positive.
Tomorrow is my post op appointment. I am excited to see how far I have come. It is also Belsis' pre op. So I will be hanging with her all day.
I want to address something that people might think. I did not take the easy way out. This journey has been rough. I had to go through a liquid diet for 14 days. I have had to relearn how to eat. I have had to excersise. This has been no picnic. The surgery was a tool. The rest is up to me. Having the surgery is like having power steering in your car. You can still run into a ditch. What I do with this new lease is up to me. It is my journey and I can choose to screw it up, or make it positive. I choose to make it positive.
Tomorrow is my post op appointment. I am excited to see how far I have come. It is also Belsis' pre op. So I will be hanging with her all day.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Changes
Since surgery, I have woken up everyday with a smile on my face. I know this sounds corny, but I have a new lease on life. I am happy every single day. Life is great.
I know I have only lost 35 lbs so far, but I can fit into some clothes I couldn't fit into before, I can wear my wedding ring, and I only woke up twice last night. I was waking up every hour on the hour before surgery, because of my sleep apnea. I am in really good spirits. I guess because I see so many changes in my life.
I am worried about my wife. She started her liquid diet yesterday, and it was not good. While I was going through my liquid diet, she would say how easy it was, and how she would not have a problem with it. Well she is having many problems. Think about not eating anything for two weeks. It is rough. You have your full stomach and are hungry all the time. I got through it by eating popcorn as my snack. Still it was a rough one. I am supporting her, and trying not to say "I told you so" too much.
Yesterday, we went to Healthy Kids for Brenden. Brenden is overweight, because he learned all the bad habits about eating from us. Now that things have changed 100%, he will, undoubtably, lose weight right along with us. I told Brenden, yesterday, that I wanted the program to be a success, and I would do anything to make sure it is. This is a big lifestyle change for all of us.
Amazingly, I am not hungry at all. I have to force myself to eat. I eat because it is time to eat. I take my protein because it is time to take protein. I can only eat 1.5 ozs of food per meal right now, and the food has to be pureed.
There are so many things to count. I have to count my protien intake, my liquid consumption, my vitamin intake. And I have to make sure I get the right amounts each day. That is a little hard, but I have to do it.
My post op appointment is Thursday, and Belsis' pre op is the same day. I am going to support her just like she supported me. She says she is nervous about the appointment. I know how she feels. I was very nervous about my pre op. You don't want anything to delay your surgery. I felt so much better after that appointment. The surgery was paid for, and all I had to do was wait.
I know I have only lost 35 lbs so far, but I can fit into some clothes I couldn't fit into before, I can wear my wedding ring, and I only woke up twice last night. I was waking up every hour on the hour before surgery, because of my sleep apnea. I am in really good spirits. I guess because I see so many changes in my life.
I am worried about my wife. She started her liquid diet yesterday, and it was not good. While I was going through my liquid diet, she would say how easy it was, and how she would not have a problem with it. Well she is having many problems. Think about not eating anything for two weeks. It is rough. You have your full stomach and are hungry all the time. I got through it by eating popcorn as my snack. Still it was a rough one. I am supporting her, and trying not to say "I told you so" too much.
Yesterday, we went to Healthy Kids for Brenden. Brenden is overweight, because he learned all the bad habits about eating from us. Now that things have changed 100%, he will, undoubtably, lose weight right along with us. I told Brenden, yesterday, that I wanted the program to be a success, and I would do anything to make sure it is. This is a big lifestyle change for all of us.
Amazingly, I am not hungry at all. I have to force myself to eat. I eat because it is time to eat. I take my protein because it is time to take protein. I can only eat 1.5 ozs of food per meal right now, and the food has to be pureed.
There are so many things to count. I have to count my protien intake, my liquid consumption, my vitamin intake. And I have to make sure I get the right amounts each day. That is a little hard, but I have to do it.
My post op appointment is Thursday, and Belsis' pre op is the same day. I am going to support her just like she supported me. She says she is nervous about the appointment. I know how she feels. I was very nervous about my pre op. You don't want anything to delay your surgery. I felt so much better after that appointment. The surgery was paid for, and all I had to do was wait.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Hardest Thing So Far
The hardest thing so far is not being able to eat and drink at the same time. I can not drink 10 - 15 mins prior to eating and I can not drink for an hour after I have eaten.
I have to get my protien down today. I have to have at least 100 grams of protien, and 80 ounces of liquid. It wasn't so hard yesterday, but then again I wasn't eating either.
Today I started eating pureed foods. I can have 1 1/2 ounces of a protien food, with each meal, and only if I have room left, I can have 0.5 ounces of a vegitable.
Belsis started her liquid diet today. I know how hard that diet is. I plan to support her, and be understanding. The two weeks of the liquid diet is torture. Hopefully she does well, and better than I did with it.
I started a You Tube Channel and have posted two videos. It is under MyJourneyThruSGV. I am excited to look back on that and see how far I have come.
I have to get my protien down today. I have to have at least 100 grams of protien, and 80 ounces of liquid. It wasn't so hard yesterday, but then again I wasn't eating either.
Today I started eating pureed foods. I can have 1 1/2 ounces of a protien food, with each meal, and only if I have room left, I can have 0.5 ounces of a vegitable.
Belsis started her liquid diet today. I know how hard that diet is. I plan to support her, and be understanding. The two weeks of the liquid diet is torture. Hopefully she does well, and better than I did with it.
I started a You Tube Channel and have posted two videos. It is under MyJourneyThruSGV. I am excited to look back on that and see how far I have come.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
It just gets better and better
I have lost 35 lbs, and I can weigh myself on the bathroom scales. Today I managed to get down 64 oz of liquid, and three protein shakes. That is pretty good for having a swollen stomach. I am so excited and this is all I want to talk about. I am sure that people are getting sick of hearing about it. I am just so consumed with this life change. I really think I made the right decision, and this surgery is going to change my life.
New Man
Surgey is over and I am at home. The surgery was smooth, but I swear I couldn't get asny rest in the hospital. I have not really been in pain. The worst thing has been the gas.
Today I get to do protien shakes. The hardest thing for me has been the sipping of beverages. I am as gulper, and that doesnt work.
In the hospital I had as thought of "What have I done to myself." That passed, and now I am excited.
Today I get to do protien shakes. The hardest thing for me has been the sipping of beverages. I am as gulper, and that doesnt work.
In the hospital I had as thought of "What have I done to myself." That passed, and now I am excited.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Well on my way
I have lost 23 lbs!!!!!!!!!!! All before surgery. I am well on my way. I am so excited. I will tell you the liquid diet is hard, but man I have lost weight.
Tomorrow is my big day. Wish me luck!
Tomorrow is my big day. Wish me luck!
Sunday, August 22, 2010
5 Days Away
My surgery is in 5 days. I have to tell you, it is on my mind heavily, and I can't think of much else. For months now, I have Benny thinking that xyz will happen after surgery. Now that the time is getting closer, it is becoming more and more real.
I have never had surgery before, much less stayed in a hospital over night. I am a very nervous about both, and am not getting much sleep because of it. I wish I could wake up and it all be over with.
I know I made the right decision to have this surgery, but what if I am wrong? What if this is the wrong decision? I know I will look back on this blog and laugh.
I have survived 8 days on a liquid diet, and only cheated once. My wife has been very good about food. She hasn't been cooking much when I am home, and her and the boys eat in another room from me. Still, try not eating for 8 days. I used to wake up to eat breakfast. They say after surgery, that you don't get hungry. That is hard to imagine right now as my stomach growls.
I will post when the surgery is over. Until then, pray for me.
I have never had surgery before, much less stayed in a hospital over night. I am a very nervous about both, and am not getting much sleep because of it. I wish I could wake up and it all be over with.
I know I made the right decision to have this surgery, but what if I am wrong? What if this is the wrong decision? I know I will look back on this blog and laugh.
I have survived 8 days on a liquid diet, and only cheated once. My wife has been very good about food. She hasn't been cooking much when I am home, and her and the boys eat in another room from me. Still, try not eating for 8 days. I used to wake up to eat breakfast. They say after surgery, that you don't get hungry. That is hard to imagine right now as my stomach growls.
I will post when the surgery is over. Until then, pray for me.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Phase 2 Diet
I am on day 3 of my two week liquid diet. Let me tell you it is a killer. I am hungry a lot, and it has become uncomfortable.
This is the first step of my journey. If you are reading this, pray for me during this time.
This is the first step of my journey. If you are reading this, pray for me during this time.
Friday, August 13, 2010
Pre Op
Had my Pre Op appointment yesterday. I was dredding that appointment. I was worried that something would delay surgey. But nothing did. The surgey is now paid for and I am excited.
The hard part is that I am on a liquid diet for two weeks until surgery. I am not looking forward to that. I started today, and so far so good.
The hard part is that I am on a liquid diet for two weeks until surgery. I am not looking forward to that. I started today, and so far so good.
Monday, August 9, 2010
It All Revolves Around the Surgery
Since I made the decision to have surgery, my life has revolved around it. I have thought about it for many months, and I keep saying in my head "After surgery....". It consumes my thoughts. I just want to get it over with and go on with my life.
I am going to a support group next week, for people that have been through the surgery. I am looking forward to that. I have many questions.
I am going to a support group next week, for people that have been through the surgery. I am looking forward to that. I have many questions.
Friday, August 6, 2010
In The Beginning
As I write this, I am three weeks away from Gastric Sleeve Surgery. My current weight is 365lbs, I am 6 feet tall, and I am 38 years old. My surgery date is August 27, 2010.
I chose Bariatric Surgery because I have always struggled with my weight. Sure I have lost a lot of weight in the past, and there were times in my life where I was thin, but for the most part I have always been fat. I am looking for a more permenant solution to my weight problem.
I have had to quit smoking, quit drinking soda, and lose five pounds before my pre op appointment which is next Thursday. So in short, I have had to quit everything I like to do.
I am both excited, and nervous about my surgery. On one hand I am excited about losing a lot of weight and keeping it off. On the other hand, I am nervous about the surgery itsself. I have never had surgery, and I am afraid I will wake up in the middle of it.
I will keep you posted on how things go.
I chose Bariatric Surgery because I have always struggled with my weight. Sure I have lost a lot of weight in the past, and there were times in my life where I was thin, but for the most part I have always been fat. I am looking for a more permenant solution to my weight problem.
I have had to quit smoking, quit drinking soda, and lose five pounds before my pre op appointment which is next Thursday. So in short, I have had to quit everything I like to do.
I am both excited, and nervous about my surgery. On one hand I am excited about losing a lot of weight and keeping it off. On the other hand, I am nervous about the surgery itsself. I have never had surgery, and I am afraid I will wake up in the middle of it.
I will keep you posted on how things go.
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